Noah’s Ark Will Be Found. Again. Really.

For as long as I can remember, Noah’s Ark seems be found about every other year.  Sometimes they have found the mountain. Sometimes, they have found the actual ark.  The only consistent part of the story is Ararat —  Mount Ararat, or the Ararat Mountains, or the Mountains in Ararat.  Now it would appear that Liberty University has gotten into the act.

This is from the Armenian News Network / Groong (with my snark added):

It’s one of the most familiar Bible stories.

Saddened by the wickedness of man, God directs the righteous Noah to build an ark for his family and two of each species of animal.  (Or type, or kind — it depends on the size the particular fanatic wants to envision.)

Together, they ride the ark through 40 days and 40 nights of torrential rains that God unleashes upon the Earth. And when the waters subside, Noah and the animals return to land. (Where did the water go?  That seems to be a major sticking point for which there is no rational answer (What the hell am I doing looking for rational answers about Noah’s Ark?))`That seems almost like a fairy story,’ (Yeah, almost exactly like a fairy story) said archaeologist Randall Price, who is director of Liberty University’s new Center for Judaic Studies. `But we believe it was an actual event.’ (Well, you can believe anything you want, but how about some proof?)

This summer Price, 57, plans to continue on a journey to prove just that as he joins an expedition to Mount Ararat. His team believes that it is there,in Eastern Turkey, where Noah’s Ark remains preserved underneath layers of rubble and ice.  (Enough rubble and ice to cover an ark big enough to carry all the animals?  This is one hell of a rubble pile.)`There’s a whole trail of history (no, mythology) pointing to it (Mt. Ararat),’ Price said in a recent interview. `But in our age, people tend to think it is more of a story (because people are becoming more fact oriented) like ‘Jack and the Bean Stalk.’ Our aim is to show that the Bible is good history.’

 He pointed to Genesis 8:4 (which is, obviously, an unimpeachable historical source), which states, `and on the seventeenth day of the seventh month the ark came to rest on the mountains of Ararat,’ in The New International Version of the Bible (which has been translated through how many languages and how many transcriptions?).

For centuries, expeditions have set out to find Noah’s Ark but have been unable to find any concrete evidence (because concrete evidence requires something real), beyond that of an unwavering faith (which is NOT evidence), to support its existence.

Retired Continental Airlines Pilot Richard Bright, (now there’s a misnomer) 64, has visited Turkey more than 30 times over the past 25 years in search of the vessel.

`We’ve received many leads over the years, dating back into antiquity,’ he said in a phone interview Friday. `We’ve had so many reports over the years, and they talk about the same mountain.’ (Or mountains, or mountain range, it gets kinda vague.)

Last fall, a new tip peaked [sic] both his and Price’s interest (in fleecing investors to finance their junkets to Turkey).

A Kurdish shepherd told them that he had seen the ark, and even climbed on top of it, when he was a boy (And it took him this long to tell anyone?).

The team hypothesizes that the ark is preserved in several pieces beneath a glacier on the mountain, and every so often the glacier recedes, exposing part of the vessel (But the glacier, when it advances, would crush the wood to splinters — glaciers are not like the snow out in your front yard — they move and, when moving, can crush rock to powder).

`That’s when he saw it as a boy,’ Price said, adding that they had interviewed the shepherd and could find no reason to dis-trust him (because when you really, really, really, pretty-please-with-sugar-on-top want to believe it, you’ll believe anything).

The shepherd asked for nothing in return (the laughter this will give him and his family, for years to come, will be payment enough), and agreed to lead Bright to the site where he said he had seen the ark.

Bright first climbed to the site in September. Then a team including Price, the shepherd, a mountaineer and several others made a follow-up ascent to 15,000 feet later the same month (wow, an actual measurement.  An actual fact?).

They found the spot, Price said, but it now is covered by an estimated 60-foot-deep pile of boulders. Price believes the landslide may have resulted from attacks against Kurdish rebels on the mountain, or perhaps from explosives that were set off to cover up the ark (It’s all an evil conspiracy by the Evilutionist Darwinists to cover up the reality of the ark.  Yeah, that’s the ticket.  Yeah.  And it’s guarded by velociraptors.).

`It’s a very delicate and almost clandestine environment,’ he said of the area, which is near the Turkish border to Iran and Armenia. `The danger level is high.’ (and I suspect Bright and Price may be, too.)

But his team has negotiated with government and military authorities and gained access to work at the site starting this spring, Price said. (Can’t you just picture the officers laughing their asses off at the O-Club?)

That’s when the team of (woo) archaeologists, (woo) geologists, (woo) explorers and other  (woo) volunteers plan to start removing boulders.

By summertime, they hope to reach the glacier and use ice-melting equipment to access what they believe is preserved beneath. If a structure is found, they plan to take samples to have analyzed and dated (I thought that creationists didn’t believe in radiocarbon dating).

But that may not be proof enough for some (He is right about that). Bright said people would have to make up their own minds. (Thank you for allowing me that.  No recieved wisdom at Liberty University, right?)

`We intend to, God willing (and if they don’t find it, will they claim that God sabotaged their project?), find enough of it to at least show that we have an ancient structure,’ he said. `If we find a great big structure up there that fits the dimensions (which dimensions?  which cubit?), and if there are compartments in there, and it’s ancient – What else could it be, way up there, thousands of feet in the air?’ (Classic woo reasoning — if there is an old piece of wood then it can only be exactly what they are looking for.)  Work also must be done leading up to the expedition.

Price estimated that the team needs to raise about $60,000 to pay for permission to use the site, to buy the necessary machinery and to fund about two months of work on location. (Sounds dirt cheap.  Or an incredible waste of money.)

Bright said a discovery (notice, he does not say a discovery of what) would `mean so much to so many, many people worldwide.’

`Keep your ear to the road (and your nose to the grindstone, and your feet in the socks and the cliches at the ready), so to speak, this summer,’ he said. `Because there will be discovery. The only thing that’s holding us back is to finance the machinery that we need.’ (Give me money.  God needs money.  We need money.  Give money.  Money.  Money.)

I will keep my eyes (and bananas) peeled on this one.  If my eagle eye (or planaria vision spot) sees anything more about this, I will post.

This is the typical revealed knowledge approach which many Christians take with regards to science.  Find the answer in the Bible, then find evidence to support the answer.  And if you don’t find the evidence, keep raising money, keep looking, and keep blaming liberals.  It’s worked for many years, and it looks like it will keep working.  At the very least, it will keep separating sheep from cash.