At last, a real journalist

I have come to the conclusion that the only true journalists left in America are the sports writers.  Today’s Boston Herald is a wonderful example (and I am pleasantly surprised to be complimenting the conservative Herald). 

A few months ago (right about the time that my Patriots lost to the Giants), the Boston Herald published an article reagarding the allegations that members of the Patiot’s organization had taped the St. Louis Rams walkthrough a few years back.    The problem is, it didn’t happen.  The Herald admitted today that they did not actually see the tape, nor in any other way verified the veracity of the accusation.  Today, they printed this:

On Feb. 2, 2008, the Boston Herald reported that a member of the New England Patriots video staff taped the St. Louis Rams’ walkthrough on the day before Super Bowl XXXVI. While the Boston Herald based its Feb. 2, 2008, report on sources that it believed to be credible, we now know that this report was false, and that no tape of the walkthrough ever existed.

Prior to the publication of its Feb. 2, 2008, article, the Boston Herald neither possessed nor viewed a tape of the Rams’ walkthrough before Super Bowl XXXVI, nor did we speak to anyone who had. We should not have published the allegation in the absence of firmer verification.

The Boston Herald regrets the damage done to the team by publication of the allegation, and sincerely apologizes to its readers and to the New England Patriots owners, players, employees and fans for our error.

The Boston Herald admitted that it ran a story without verifying the information.  The Herald admitted that they made a mistake.  The Herald apologized.

Will we ever hear a similar apology from the Washington Post for it’s blind acceptance of the Bush administration’s warmongering talking points?  Will the New York Times ever apologize for it’s cheerleading and jingoism during the runup to the Iraq invasion?  Will any newspaper, any American newspaper, admit that, “though we thought the reports of WMDs in Iraq were correct, we have since learned that we were mislead and the report was incorrect?”

I ain’t holdin my breath.

Olberman is a former sports journalist.  Maybe that explains why he is willing to question the press releases and propaganda coming from our government.  Maybe that explains why he’s willing to call ‘bullshit’ when appropriate.  Maybe that explains why he is willing to admit when he was wrong.

Another Non-Apology Apology

John Hagee, McCain’s pet preacher, has decided that maybe, just maybe, the Catholic Church is not the Whore of Babylon and did not conspire with the Nazis to kill all the Jews.  Thanks to “an improved understanding of the Catholic Church, its relation to the Jewish faith, and the history of anti-Catholicism,” he has decided that Catholics might be human and wants “to express [his] deep regret for any comments that Catholics have found hurtful.”

Got that?  He apologizes for any remarks Catholics “have found hurtful.”    After years, hell decades, of bashing Catholics with his right wing evangelical bigotry, he suddenly realizes that they may have found the comments ‘hurtful.’  Note, though, that he’s not apologizing for what he said, he’s apologizing for the Catholic’s finding them hurtful. 

I really have to laugh at these apologies.  It’s carefully phrased so that it sounds like he is apologizing for his remarks.  If you listen (or read) carefully, he’s apologizing for the Catholics that they were offended.  I know I’m nitpicking here, but how hard would it have been for him to say:  “I apologize for the words which came out of my mouth”?  Oh.  Wait.  Right wing, Republican, evangelical Christian.  To actually apologize for what he said, and not how other people took what he said, would be taking responsibility for his actions.  Responsibility and Republicans don’t mix.

As Steve Benen, over at The Carpet Bagger Report, says,

If Hagee is prepared to start apologizing to those he’s denigrated, he has quite a few letters to write. Hagee has argued that Hurricane Katrina “was, in fact, the judgment of God against the city of New Orleans” for hosting a gay-pride parade. Hagee has smeared Jews (he thinks they’re responsible for their own oppression), Muslims (he thinks they’re all inherently dangerous), women, “Harry Potter” novels, and pretty much anyone who doesn’t look and think like exactly like he does.

Hagee will get a free ride as he apologizes for other’s feelings, not what he said.  Every conservative gets a free ride from our ‘liberal’ press for lying, adultery, drugs, breaking the law, mistatements, pretty much damn near everything.  Must be nice.

Do Apocalyptic End Times Myths Hurt Humanity?

Christianity is a death cult.  Christians are supposed to live their life as if tomorrow (yes, TOMORROW) the end of the world (either personally through death or in the Great Apocalypse) may come and they will be judged.  Christians view the world as a place of hopeless sin, with only the very few who have accepted Jesus Christ as his or her personal saviour having any chance of avoiding eternal hell.  Everyone dies, but only a self-selected few get to go to heaven and spend eternity waving palm branches, singing hoseas and hallalujahs, eating mana (which I suspect is Jello mixed with whipped cream and marshmallows), and bathing in the light of the Lord.  Everyone else is screwed.  This idea that the world (personal or universal) is about to end (which has been a major part of proto-orthodox, orthodox, and modern Chrisitanity since the beginning) gives a rather frenetic feel to Christianity.  I feel safe in saying that a significant proportion of Christians (Catholic, Orthodox, or Protestant) sincerely believe that they are part of the last generation to live on earth.

What effect, though, does this belief have here on earth?  In my humble (hell, not so humble (or I wouldn’t have this blog)) opinion, apocalypsism has a deleterious effect on humanity in a couiple of (to me) obvious ways.

The first way apocalypsism harms humanity is through economics.  The Republican Party is dominated to an unprecedented extent with true believers.  These true believers really do (or most of them, anyway) think that this is the End Time.  They view the ‘Left Behind’ books as non-fiction.   If the world is going to end soon anyway, why bother dealing with poverty?  It’s easier to give money to your friends and their corporations.  Why worry about debt?  Once Christ returns, money won’t matter.  Why worry about health care?  Most of ‘them’ will die in the end times anyway, so why spend money to make them healthy now?

The second way that apocalypsism hurts humanity is through the treatment of the environment.  There seem to be two different views on the part of right-wing Christianity regarding the environment — either use it up, or ignore it. 

I first came across the ‘use it up’ theory when James Watt was Secretary of the Interior under Ronald Reagan.  During one of his speeches, he stated that (and this is paraphrasing) “Christ will return soon and He will be unhappy if we have not used all of the natural resources placed here for humanity.”  Which explains the continued starvation of federal agencies which preserve (NPS) and the starvation of  federal agencies which monitor and regulate the use of America’s land.

I have never heard the ‘ignore it’ theory put so bluntly as Watt did for the ‘use it up’ theory, but it is there.  The Republican war on science has focused a great deal of attention on minimizing ‘bad things.’  These bad things include (but are not limited to) the possibility of more powerful hurricanes due to anthropogenic global warming; the dangers of carcinogens in water supplies (or containers); selling the clear-cutting of national forests as ‘fire-prevention.’  All of these, though, will magically cease to matter when the Apocalypse comes.

A third way in which apocalypsism harms people is through opposition to family planning of any kind.  This link is a little more tenuous, but I see some evidence for it in the comments (drivel) of the Pope, James Dobson, Falwell, et al.  Since the world will end soon, overpopulation does not matter since some significant fraction will die during the end times.  But, since the world will end soon, Christians need as many people as possible alive on earth RIGHT NOW to increase the chances of converting and saving some of the souls.  Any form of population control (family planning, the pill, condoms, abortion, voluntary sterilization) is reducing the number of souls who might be saved when the end comes.  More is better when it comes to saving souls.

The last way that I see apocalypsism harming humanity is through the lessening of the willingness of private or government organizations to aid in the event of a natural disaster.  America has the largest economy on earth.  We have the largest military budget on earth.  Yet when a million and a half Burmese (sounds better than Myanmarese) need aid after a massive tropical cyclone, America offers a paltry $3 million (which given the strength of the dollar, isn’t even that much)?  The tsunamis of the Indian Ocean a few years back, a disaster unprecedented in the modern world, was ignored by the President for days.  So how is an unwillingness to help related to apocalypsism?  The world will end soon.  Suffering through wars, natural disasters, starvation, pestilence, plague, even tooth decay, are all signs of the coming apocalypse.  Easing the suffering is upsetting God’s plan.  Easing the suffering will delay the second coming.

I realize that I have painted Christians with a rather broad brush here.  Many Christians (as well as atheists, Buddhists, Muslims, Animists, Shintoists, etc.) give generously of time and money during and after disasters.  On an individual level, this is great.  But on an institutional level, where the greatest good can be accomplished through the pooling of resources, solutions and problem solving are intentionally lacking.

One of the biggest dangers facing America and, in fact, the whole world, is the idea that we are in the End Times and the Apocalypse is coming which will bring the second coming of Christ.  The willingness to derail the American economy because is won’t matter after the apocalypse is short-sighted (after all, in the 990s, thousands of Christians gave away all their possessions believing that the end was near and ended up dying in poverty when the end didn’t come (and a couple of guys named de’Cheney de la Bush really cleaned up)).  A willingness to destroy the world on which we live through short-sighted profiteering enabled by an end-times mentality is short-sighted.  And an unwillingness to help others through the belief that easing suffering will delay the end of the world is short-sighted.

What happens when the end of the world doesn’t come and our economy is run by China (or taken over by the World Bank because we can’t run it)?  What happens when the end of the world doesn’t come and the ecology of the world is in ruins because of Global Warming?  And what happens when the end doesn’t come and the rest of the world looks at how our short-sighted greed and selfishness, based on a bronze-age superstition, has created suffering and chaos throughout all the lands?

I don’t have the answers, but, to quote a line from Broadway:  “Comes the end and it won’t be pretty!”  And it won’t be the world that ends, but America’s role in the world.

( I retitled the piece from “Does Apocalypsism Harm?” because, well, it confused me.)

Bad Songs and Bad Memories

When I was in my senior year of high school, I met my first girlfriend.  She was the product of a Catholic upbringing, but had been ‘born again.’  She tried very hard to convert me, to convince me to accept Jesus as my personal saviour and be born again (I thought at the time (and still do) that the first time was most likely enough for my mom).

The summer after my senior year (or maybe it was in the late spring (not sure (it was a long time ago))) she called me and asked if I wanted to go to a concert.  Sounded good, so I said yes.  She said to bring the brick (my VW Microbus was painted brick red (with a white top (looked kinda like a rectangle of Red Velvet Cake with Ermine Icing))) as ‘the gang’ (all born-agains (but good people (and (usually) fun to be with)) would be coming along.

The concert (up at the Hagerstown fairgrounds) was Petra.  There were three other bands before the headliner.  For those who don’t know, Petra was a Christian Rock Band.  The concert was, to say the least, excruciating.  The bands were three chord wonders in spandex, with the added bonus of horrible lyrics.  Songs about Gods love.  Songs about Jesus’ love.  Songs about the Bible’s love.  Luckily, when Petra was on, I couldn’t understand the lyrics (their sound boy couldn’t quite figure out that the vocals should be at least as loud as the instrumentals (and the thumpa-thumpa-thumpa of the bass was discoesque)).  Unluckily the lyrics were displayed above the stage (this was hi-tech for 1985).  Luckily I had forgotten the lyrics (until recently (when Myers posted about some Christian Rock demos)). 

As we drove away after the concert (heading for Pizza Hut), I rumaged through the cassettes (not an eight-track in this vehicle) and popped in The Wall by Pink Floyd.  Oddly, everyone in the van, all the born-agains, had the same reaction:  “Ahhhh.  Real music!”  So why the hell did we suffer through three hours of Christian Rock?

Before anyone gets the wrong idea, I have nothing against religious music.  Bach’s St. John’s Passion is one of my favourite pieces, and I greatly enjoy Mozart’s Requiem.  I love Gregorian Chants (though they freak my wife out).  I even enjoy religous folk music and some gospel tunes (not so much for listening, but for playing and singing).  I do have something against bad music.

Whether it is fairground rock bands or a neophyte violinist, poorly performed music grates (and I know that everyone sounds bad, then mediocre, and then some become good as they learn more).  But even worse is bad music.  Bad music, even performed well, is just plain painful.

If any of ya’ll have the guts, go over to WFMU and listen to some of these Christian Rock Demos.  And keep in mind that they were actually trying to convinced people to record them professionally.

You Folks are Brilliant

I think you folks are freaking brilliant.  Seriously.  I do.  Yes, I really do.

An important part of my job is making connections.  How do I make early twentieth century technology and labour practices relevant;  how do I connect with today’s average American?  The short answer is through analogies, stories, and examples from today (a roundhouse was a JiffeyLube for steam locomotives).

A few days ago (feeling quite lazy (it was a beautiful day)) I posted this (a long involved equation in which you input your telephone number and your telephone number comes back out the other end of the equation).  I thought is was cute and harmless (like a baby).  Unfortunately, cute and harmless babies become teenagers.  And teenagers are . . . wait.  Sorry.  Anyway, along comes PhillyChief.  He makes a connection which (in retrospect) is so obvious, I said “D’oh” and hit myself (gently) upside the head:

So is this some sort of analogy? All these steps are like religion, completely superfluous, a waste of time, and full of woo factor to amaze and mystify but really you could just cut to the chase like Ex described and get on with life.

He’s got a good point.  Rather than writing down your phone number, it leads you on this mystical journey to arrive at what you already know.  Damn!  Double-damn!  How could I have missed that?

In a way, that’s quite a bit like religion. 

Mr. Fundamentalist says, “I don’t like people who are different.  Gays are different.  I don’t like gays.”

Then, through the help of his minister/preacher/televangelist/priest, he reads through the Bible, gets saved through a process which is “completely superfluous, a waste of time, and full of woo factor to amaze” and discovers what he already knows:  “I don’t like gays.”

This same process (conclusion, go through a long involved process which gives the impression of thought and logic, find proof for your conclusion) is used to cut taxes for the rich, diny equal rights to women, beat children, decry abortion and other women’s health care, gay-bash, deny health care to your kids, support racism or slavery, or any other created ‘moral’ cause. 

Thank you, Philly.  I mean it.  I had never thought of the Bible as a useless algorithm used to arrive at what I already know.

You folks really are brilliant.

Answers to First Line Meme

Ya’ll did pretty darn good.  Apparently, this crowd likes folk music (except for PhillyChief who seems a bit confused).  Here are the answers to the ones you didn’t get:

2.  “His daddy was an honest man” is from the song San Francisco Mabel Joy written by Mickey Newberry.  I’ve heard it performed by both Wayon Jennings and John Denver.

10:  “Lots of folks back east they say” is from a song called Do Re Mi by Woody Guthrie.  Basically, if you don’t have the Do Re Mi (money) you ain’t gonna get into California.  Good Dust Bowl ballad.

11.  “It was a frosty night” is the first line from Tom Paxton’s Did You Here John Hurt.  I love the chorus, which goes:
          Did you here John Hurt play the Creole Bell?
          Spanish Fandango, that he loved so well?
          And did you love John Hurt?  Did you shake his hand?
         Did you hear him play his Candy Man?

13: “Oh, have you heard the story ’bout Aimee McPherson?” is from the song Aimee McPherson.  I have not been able to find the original artist, though I have it on CD (live) by Pete Seeger.  It tells the story of the downfall of the radiovangelist through, uh, sexual indiscretions with her radio man.

14:  “Oh we want to call him Zachary” is from the song Zachary and Jennifer by John Denver.  It is also the inspiration for my son’s name.

18:  “I saw a Berkely woman” is from the song Berkeley Woman by Brian Bowers, but the only performer I’ve heard is John Denver.  How did you not get that one?

24:  “Caviar comes from the virgin sturgeon” is from a song called Virgin Sturgeon by that prolific writer, anonymous.  It is sung to the tune of Reuben, Reuben and has some good verses in it:
          Caviar comes from the virgin sturgeon,
          Virgin sturgeons a very rare fish.
          No good sturgeon wants to be a virgin
          And that’s why caviar’s a very rare dish.

and the song’s end goes thus:
          Postman he arrived on Monday
          Milkman he arrived next day
          Baby came just nine month’s later
          Who fired the shot, the blue or the grey?

It’s a song from my youth.  My dad used to sing it to us in the evenings.  May explain a great deal.

I took a look at the list, and I think that Lyin’ Eyes may be the most recent song.  My CD collection is pretty much the same.  Lot’s of folk music, classic rock, opera, classical, and (my wife’s least favourite) Gregorian chants.

So I’m Lazy Today

 

Stolen Borrowed from Pharyngula

First Line Meme

I stole the following meme idea from No More Hornets, via Ordinary Girl:

Step 1: Put your MP3 player or whatever on random.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 25 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Strike through when someone gets them right. I’ll put it in italics if the title has been gotten, but not the artist.
Step 5: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING.

Here’s the problem.  I don’t have an iPod.  I don’t use and mp3 player.  So I’m going to alter it slightly.

I play guitar.  I have a box full of chords and lyrics for various songs.  So instead of grabbing my Walkman (sorry), I grabbed the box of music and here are the first lines of the first 25 songs (many of these songs have been recorded by multiple artists, so I’ll be liberal with Step 3):

1. When I woke up this morning  Illegal Smile by John Prine (Lifeguard)
2. His daddy was an honest man
3. They sat together in the park:  Simple Twist of Fate by Bob Dylan (though I first heard it by Joan Baez) (SI)
4. There was blood on the saddle:  Blood on the Saddle, Trad. (Ex)
5. An old cowboy went ridin’ out:  Ghost Riders in the Sky, Sons of the Pioneers (and lots more) (Nan)
6. They seek him here:  Dedicated Follower of Fashion by the Kinks (Ranger Bob)
7. A hundred and eighty were challenged by Travis to die:  The Alamo (but the artist (and I know of at least two) is still not there) (Ex)
8. City girls just seem to find out early Lyin Eyes by the Eagles (Lifeguard)
9. Tim Finnegan lived in Walking Street, Finnegans Wake, Clancy Brothers and Tommy Makem (The Exterminator)
10. Lots of folks back east they say
11. It was a frosty night
12. When I was a young man, I carried a pack:  The Band Played Waltzing Matilday by Eric Bogle (I first heard it on a Clancy Brothers and Tommy Makem album) (Ranger Bob)
13. Oh have you heard the story ’bout Aimee McPherson?
14. Oh, we want to call him Zachary
15. I’ve been doing some hard travellin’, Hard Travellin’ by Woody Guthrie (I’ll give you the artist because its been covered so many times) (SI)
16. She was a level headed dancer Spanish Pipe Dream by John Prine (Lifeguard)
17. We went one day:  Tijuana Jail by The Kingston Trio (Ex)
18. I saw a Berkely woman
19. Think I’ll go out to Alberta:  Four Strong Winds, Ian Tyson (Ian & Sylvia) (Nan)
20. Train roll on:  Tuesday’s Gone  Lynyrd Skynyrd (Nan)
21. Take me ridin’ in the car, car, The Car Song by Woody Guthrie (Lifeguard)
22. Nobody feels any pain:  Just LIke a Woman by Bob Dylan (SI)
23. Oh had I a golden thread:  Oh, Had I A Golden Thread by Pete Seeger (OG)
24. Caviar comes from the virgin sturgeon
25. If today was not an endless highway:  Tomorrow is a Long Time by Bob Dylan (though I first heard it by Ian & Sylvia) (SI)

I know I am perverting the rules, but, again, given my technological level, I think its in the spirit of the rule.  And, as my daughter would say, these songs prove that I am a nerd.  And my 8-track won’t do random (unless I hit a bump).

It’s a Sign From, Uh, Something

A few weeks ago, I made a gluten-free cornbread.  It was delicious.  In the oven, though, it developed an oddly shaped carmelized film (which can be seen in the photo (I thought the pattern odd enough that I took the photo (which is one of the great things about digital cameras — you can take pictures of nonsense that, before, was not worth wasting film on))).  Then, a couple of weeks later (that would be now), the Spanish Inquisitor puts up a neat (though disturbing) post about an ultrasound scan which, if you look at it through fundogelical lenses, apparently shows Jesus nailed to a cross in a woman’s womb (that’s gotta be symbolic of something).  Which helped me remember my cornbread.

My first thought upon seeing the pattern (being a pattern-seeking primate and all) was that maybe this was a representation of the ylem during the first milliseconds of expansion after the Big Bang and I was being told by the universe that I AM RIGHT!  It works for the right wing Christians, right?

Then I looked at it again.  I saw the sign.  It is Jason’s Golden Fleece.  Apparently, I should be worshipping the Greek Gods of Olympus (only I own a Nikon).  Oh Zeus, Oh Athena, Oh Loki (wait, wrong pantheon), Oh Woden (damnit, wrong pantheon again), forgive me for my postmodern atheism.  And Zeus?  You better keep away from my daughter whether you’re disguised as a swan or not!

After discussing it with my wife, we did the logical thing.  We ate it.  With butter and honey.  It was delicious.

Someone Had Way Too Much Time on His or Her Hands

Try this.  It really works. Use a calculator (click on start in the lower left, go to all programs, accessories, click on calculator).

1. key in the exchange digits of your phone number (the first three numbers (not the area code)).
2. multiply by 80
3. add 1
4. multiply by 250
5. add the last four digits of your phone number
6. add the last four digits of your phone number (again)
7. subtract 250
8. divide by 2

Look at the answer.  Does it look familiar?  If it doesn’t, either try it again, or have your memory checked by a competent neurologist.