You Can’t Make This Shit Up: Dieting with Jesus9 July, 2009
Since I left the army, I have, I must admit, struggled with my weight. I won’t tell you what it is, but I struggle with it. I had no idea, however, just how easy weight loss could be if I only believed. Jesus will help me diet via a (I really cannot believe I am typing this) Diet Jesus Fridge Magnet.
The text is a little blurry even on the enlarge version but:
“Dieting with Jesus: Because that ass needs a miracle.” (Wasn’t Buridan’s Ass a miracle?)
“Your body is a temple. Fill it with salad.” (Yeah. A temple full of salad would smell real good in a few weeks.)
“Work those buns anywhere.” (I had no idea that carrying an execution device was an aerobic workout. Then again, if you’re about to be executed, what’s the point?)
“Fat jeans or skinny jeans. You decide.” (Weren’t jeans first created in the 19th century? And weren’t genes discovered at about the same time?)
“Omega-3 fatty acids are a blessing for that tummy.” (That one rates a full-bore WTF!)
And the good news is only $10.95. That’s one hell of an expensive magnet.
I guess the sheeple will be good for it.