A Strange Combination of Bumper Stickers

29 June, 2009

I just got back from the grocery store.  While walking across the parking lot, I almost got run over by a large SUV (no, Sarge, it probably was not the one gunning for you).  It had an odd combination of bumper stickers on the back:

Evolution is a Lie


McCain & Palin:  For America and For God


Live the Bible:  The Only Truth


John 3:16


Teach Abstinence, Teach God


God Said It; I Believe It; Case Closed


The Bible Lives It

and then, a new bumper sticker (the others were faded):

I’m Not Fucking Stupid:  I Divorced Him

Now, I admit that, though I have read both the old and new testaments multiple times (each time in a different transaction), but isn’t the Bible pretty clear about divorce (Malachi 2:16Matthew 19:6, Deuteronomy 24:1-4Matthew 19:8)?  Does anyone else think that the combination of Biblical literalism and the divorce bumper sticker an odd combination?  Then again, maybe he was the godbot and, when she got the SUV, he didn’t take his silly stickers with him.

Either way, I have decided I like bumper stickers.  Not the individual ones, but, on vehicles with multiple stickers, the diverse ideas on the back of one car can be entertaining.  And it’s definately more entertaining than watching the road.



  1. There is, however, something to be said for watching the road 🙂

  2. That is just too funny. But if she got the SUV, then I would think she would have scraped all the other stickers off.

    My personal favourites are the ones in small print, and at stop signs or red lights you can see the car behind inching forward to read it, leaving the guy in front panicking over why the guy behind is geting so close…

  3. You learn a hell of a lot about a person when they plaster mini proclamations all over their cars. I love that stuff.

  4. Oh I laughed at that new one!!! odd yes … but clever!

  5. They don’t always have to mean real stuff either. I currently have one sticker on my car. It simply reads “I speak parseltongue” Unless you understand it, you don’t understand it. And that’s what makes it funny.

  6. I would like to imagine that “he” put all but the last one on; “she” put the last one on and left the old ones so the new one would make sense.

  7. I’m with you, revatheist! I figured that the car WAS her bible-thumping husbands, but she got the car in the divorce. LOL!

  8. Yeah, I lean towards Dan and Revatheist’s solution. Sure she could have scraped his stickers off, but that would have been less funny. 😉

  9. Saw a T shirt at the VA about two hours ago that might go well on this thread:

    In the center is a devil’s head. Above irt is the caption:

    Sorry, God’s busy.

    Under the head is,

    May I help you?

    The owner told me that he had no idea where it came from, his mother-in-law gave it to him.

    He said that either he got responses like mine when wearing it, or a lot of hostility.

    • Sarge,
      I work at a VA and I can definately tell you that a shirt like that would unfortunately be very likely to become “lost” or “stolen” quickly.

  10. James: Which I do while driving. If I am walking, or riding shotgun, I don’t. Usually.

    Philippa: Welcome to my blog. I have found myself doing that at stop lights. When I’m in my plain white sedan, in uniform, and wearing my cowboy hat, it can have a very interesting effect.

    Godlessgirl: Welcome. And sometimes it tells me that I don’t want to know any more about them.

    Fantasia: Glad you could stop by. I have a feeling that with the humour, a whole lot of money went to some lawyers.

    Adam: Welcome. I agree. A car I see in my evening commute has a sticker which just says: “Why Are You Reading My Car?” Some are fun, some are weird, some are offensive. I like the parseltongue one.

    Rev, Dan and Chanson: Agreed. That is the most likely explanation. Though if he had put it on, and that was his mistress, we enter a whole new level of weird.

    Sarge: I like the shirt. Not one that I would wear (I’m kinda non-confrontational by nature (or nurture (still not sure which))). Of course, that still implies the belief in a fantasy, neh?

  11. I think in this gentleman’s case it was an opprotunity to exercise his free speech and annoy people…I, of course, applaud his method, and from the looks he was getting I’d say that the if they averaged the blood pressure figures at that moment they’d have yelled, “Saaaaave yerselves! Run! She’s gonna blow”!

    Which one do you work at revatheist? I have to go to three.

    • I’m in Oklahoma, so unless you are too, I doubt you’re in any of mine.

  12. lol, I was with my mom one day and we were at McDonald’s. The car ahead of us had two bumper stickers, one said “In case of Rapture, this car will be unmanned”, and the other said “Born to die.” I just shook my head. My atheist side wanted to scream at the people as we passed, but I restrained myself.

    • robert,
      one of my favorite bumper stickers is in response to the first one you mentioned: “in case of rapture, can I have your car?”

  13. Robert: So what happens if a woman is driving? Or is the sticker implying that only men can be saved? And the ‘Born to Die’ sticker? How can Christians claim that their religion is not a dealth cult?

    Rev: Seen that one too. If the car isn’t moving when rapture happens it might be good to have. If they’re on the interstate, the passenger will be raptured, the car will be ruptured.

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