I Need to go to Confession

28 June, 2009

I do, in one small way, envy Catholics.  No, not the dogma or the liturgy or heirarchy.  I envy Catholics because of the whole confession thingie.  Case in point:  I am currently watching a TV program which I should not be enjoying.  I have avoided things like American Idol, America’s Got Talent, The Bong Show, all those other celebrity-creation mind numbers.  I have avoided all of the Survivor and other reality bullshit (my personal opinion, I understand other may enjoy watching that shiesse).

Now, I find myself watching Gene Simmon’s Family Jewels.  And the worst part is, I am enjoying it.  He (and his wife and kids) are funny, witty, intelligent, and remarkably ‘normal.’  The sitting-on-the-couch dialogue, the interspersed home movies, and the comfort of the family make it enjoyable.

But I feel really, really, really guilty watching it.  I feel like I should go listen to some Mozart Horn Concertos, read some Tuchmann, and enjoy some imported triple-creme brie with some stone-ground wheat crackers, and some Belgian peach lambic just to make up for the classiness subtraction.  I feel like I should confess:

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.  I have, on numerous occasions, watched and enjoyed Gene Simmon’s Family Jewels.  Please Father, give me penance that I may regain the class lost by watching this.”

Now, Dog, the Bounty Hunter is on.  And it’s actually fun to watch.

Shit.  I’m going redneck.  Help me!!!!!


Truth in Blogging:  I read this to (((Wife))) and she saved my bacon.  I had written Richard, not Gene (and (((Wife))) wondered why I would want to see Richard Simmons family jewels (I don’t).  Thank you, (((Wife))).



  1. I confess myself to really enjoy Scare Tactics. And Japanese game shows.

  2. *Looks around sheepisly* I watch American Idol. Oh and So You Think You Can Dance. There I said it. I think sometimes, we need stupid crap to keep us sane.

  3. RuPaul’s Drag Race. I’m sorry, but that was hysterical. Tell me you don’t want to watch the end of a show where two drag queens have to “lip synch for their lives” and are told before they start by RuPaul, “don’t fuck it up!”

    That show has changed me forever because of the contestants looked like the singer of Queensryche, but then in drag looked like Kirstie Alley. I can’t look at either one of them the same again.

    Btw, if you’re going to go redneck, try this.

  4. Sarge: I’ve just avoided this type of show for so long, now that I found one I enjoy, I’m scared I might start watching other ones.

    Poodles: I haven’t watched those (though I did see the clips of the English opera singer and the middle-aged English woman who was a true show-stopper. Other than that, I’d rather listen to music I actually like.

    Philly: Never heard of it. I am familiar with the “can’t look at . . . them the same again,” syndrome. No matter what movie Tim Curry is in, I expect the clothes to come off and reveal fishnets and a leather bustiere (sp?). Made the remake of Three Musketeers (with Curry as Richelieu) interesting. Now I can’t read French history without thinking of Richelieu in fishnet stockings. How’s that for weird?

  5. I didn’t even bother seeing that farce. Ever see the two from the early 70s with Michael York as d’Artegnon? Rachel Welch was quite scrumptious looking, and Charleton Heston was an awesomely evil cardinal Richelieu. Both are good, but the 2nd is very dark, which is why I think it didn’t do well. It was shot as one film, but there was so much that they broke it into two films.

    I think purists didn’t care for it because it was a bit tongue in cheek and bawdy in parts, but compared to that one with Tim Curry, well, I’m sure it would be considered high drama.

  6. Personally, I enjoyed Gordon Ramsay’s show “Hell’s Kitchen” and I LOVE “Ice Road Truckers”. There, out with it.

  7. Philly: I didn’t say it was good, merely that now I can’t think of Richelieu without that image. I actually prefer the 1950s one — fun, no deeper message, and great costumes.

    Teleprompter: Thanks for stopping by. I guess we all have our guilty secrets. Maybe someone needs to create a blog wherein atheists confess those guilty little classless things?

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