You Can’t Make This Shit Up: Gun at Church?

4 June, 2009

Some Americans, mostly of the severe right-wing Christianist godbot dominionist peruasion, seem to overlook some of the supposed teachings of the (probably fictional) Christ.  Things like pacifism, meekness, helping the poor, helping the weak — basically the left-wing progressive Jesus.  Courtesy of Teabagging for Jesus  (which, if you haven’t visited, is a great blog), we are reminded that not all Christians are into the meek and mild.  Some are into just plain firepower.

The New Bethel Church, of Louiville, Kentucky, is celebrating an open-carry day.  No, not alcohol (we’ve already been there in Arkansas):  firearms.  Guns.  Pistols.  Revolvers.


Because everyone knows that Jesus was no pacifist.  Jesus was no wimp.  Jesus just loves his firearms, right?


The above graphic is parody.  The top one is right off the church’s web site.  As is:

In Celebration of July 4 and our rights as Americans, New Bethel Church will be hosting an Open Carry Celebration for all who support 1st and 2nd Amendment rights. It will be held on Saturday June 27th, the weekend before July 4th. It will begin at 5PM and picnic food will be served. We are asking responsible handgun owners to attend this service openly wearing their sidearm. This will be a Cold Range Carry meaning handguns must be unloaded and in a secure holster.Area gun store/firing range owners will be invited to attend and tell about their services. There will be patriotic music and short presentation concerning responsible gun ownership and 2nd Amendment rights.

There will also be a raffle to win a handgun. All that is asked is that you bring a sidearm, a friend who has a sidearm and a canned good for local food bank.

Okay, it will help a food bank.  That makes everything just hunky-dory. 

Mocking is now over.

Considering that Dr. George Tiller was murdered in his church, not to mention the shootings at the Unitarian church in Tennessee, this strikes me as sick.  Of course, after perusing the web site of this ‘Spiritually certified’ church, I would expect that some (probably not all (I hope not all)) not only think that an open carry day is a good idea.  And at least a few probably approve of the goals of Dr. Tiller’s murderer and the shooter in Tennessee.  And I bet that more than 20% of the members of this church like Bush and Cheney, too.



  1. This is some sick ass shit. Only in America could Christianity be so demented and twisted.

    • Ahhh… yet another shining example of hypocrisy in the name of faith. Even Jesus wants them to shut the fuck up.

      I’m a bit cranky today, as Twitter has successfully pulled a David Blaine on my profile content AGAIN… but not cranky enough to stifle my laughter at this comedy of errors.

      Thanx for a great post (and belly laugh)…

  2. Well actually, that crowd would argue that if there was an open carry rule at Tiller’s church, then his killer never would have had a chance. He couldn’t have threatened those two people and Tiller could have shot him himself. See? Everybody just needs to be armed. Praise god, and pass the ammunition…

  3. Throughout the years I have done alot of living history reenactments,(bringing history to life), and even in the days of the “wild” west when everyone carried a gun everywhere, the one place they did not carry was to Sunday church.

    • Then you must have missed part of that history lesson. More than a few places in Early America had laws that REQUIRED the men to bring their guns to church, in case of Indian attack.

      In fact, one of those laws was still in force until a few years ago, when one church goer decided to follow the law, and stirred up the congregation by bringing his rifle to church. Imagine the local prosecutor’s face when he found out he had to drop the charges as the man was actually obeying the law!

  4. Like Pastor “Quickdraw” Pagano says, “Not all branches of Christianity are pacifistic,”. I’m sure he says it in his best Dirty Harry voice.

  5. If we’re lucky they’ll all shoot each other and we’ll be rid of that many more ignorant people!

  6. Mark: Thanks for stopping by. I am still amazed a the odd things coming out of religion.

    Kim: Welcome to my blog. Hypocrisy (the big H kind) seems part and parcel with any absolutist system.

    Philly: If the carriers had realized what was happening soon enough to intervene (which is a big if), then the Christian anti-woman right would be screaming about liberals killing to preserve abortion. Either way, they can spin.

    Tau: The normal prohibition on weapons of any kind in church has been around for a long time.

    Big Gay AL: Welcome. Where, when and what jurisdiction.

    Postie: Scary quote.

    Bluesilver: Glad you could stop by. Part of me wants to agree with you, but part of me wants to decry the use of eliminationist rhetoric so popular on the right. Either way, welcome.

    • It’s been a while since I saw that story, but I believe it was somewhere in the Northeast, perhaps New England. And I believe it was sometime in the 1990’s. It’s been a while.

      • I did a quick google search, and according to http://hubpages.com/hub/More-Ludicrous-Laws-From-Around-the-USA Maine, Massachusetts and North Carolina still have these laws on the books.

      • Cool. Strikes me as antithetical to the teachings attributed to Jesus, but that’s just me. I think Marblehead, Mass, still has a law requiring that all cars parked on an incline must have a 20+ pound rock attached to the bumper with a rope. Odd laws.

      • Not so much, when you look at Luke 22:36 which says, “…..he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one.” Mind you, I’ve seen many different interpretations of that verse. I however find it odd that everyone else seems to know that Jesus meant something other than what that verse said.

  7. If they obey the rules, they won’t be shooting each other, because they’re supposed to bring unloaded guns with them.

    This event is ostensibly about July 4th and 2nd amendment rights. That may be part of it, but I wouldn’t be surprised if some people are thinking along the lines Philly suggested. At the very least, even if Tiller still would have been shot, had others been carrying, then the shooter would’ve gotten instant payback. Good old-fashioned wild-west justice can’t be beat.

  8. When I was competing in fencing, a coach once said that there still exists dueling laws in any Commonwealth state (ie – PA and VA), meaning it’s still legal to kill someone via a duel. I never did check that out, but it would be amusing if it were true, like the law about bringing your gun to church just in case dem injuns attack.

  9. Chappie: Dontcha know? Christians are above the rules.

    Philly: Damn. Artist, fencer, Chiefs fan. Is there no end to your iniquity? There are some weird laws still on the books. Can’t plow a field in Georgia using an elephant to pull the implement. In Hagerstown, you cannot cross a city street via a rope suspended from one building to the other. Weird stuff.

  10. Well…

    I am a proud (and loud) Atheist, strong supporter of ALL of the rights enumerated in the Bill of Rights, and a concealed handgun licensee. While I understand the apparent dichotomy between the teachings of Jeebus and bringing guns to church, I seem to remember an incident not so long ago when a woman with a CHL actually shot an attacker in her church before he could kill anyone.

    I guess part of my problem is that I’m also a Libertarian, and can’t understand the desire to depend on someone else for my safety or welfare.

    • A number of “conservative” churches have taken to having volunteers, with CCW/CHL/LTCF/CPL (whatever your state calls it’s license to carry) serve as armed security. As I recall, the woman in the incident you mention, turned out to be a volunteer guard for her church. If you ask me, with all the way things are, and how some people see schools and churches as “meat on the table,” seems like a sensible thing to do. In my humble opinion that is.

  11. this is nOt cOOl at all. . The lOrd is pOwerful and by yOu putting this picture up here like it’s Okay tO dO. . i dOn’t agree with nOthing yOu pOsted up here. . that’s really disrespecting the lOrd. .

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