(((Wife))) Amazes Me. Again.

21 April, 2009

(((Wife))) amazes me.  Often.  I was looking for a particular book.  I looked in our glass-front barrister bookcase where my first editions reside.  Nothing.  I looked on the short bookcase and found one of his books, but not the right one.  So I went upstairs, looked in both bookcases and in the overflow closet.  Found three more of his books, but still not the right one.  So I finally got smart andI asked (((Wife))), “Where is the book I’m looking for?  It’s a Herblock book, and I think it is Herblock’s Here and Now.”

“It’s in the barrister bookcase.”

“I looked there.”

So she walks out, opens the door, pulls the book out (from a spot where I had already looked!), and says, “Here it is.  That’ll be $12.oo labour, plus parts.”

How the hell does she do that?

I’m working on a post (which I should be working on now (not writing this)) which should be up this evening.  If I can find the passage from the book. 

If I can’t find it, I’ll just ask (((Wife))).



  1. Well, it’s confirmed. Atheist women actually are witches. 😉

  2. Damn if I can figure that out…maybe it’s a guy thing?

    We were at a reenactment and I sent one of the teenagers to the van to get a broom so we could sweep the catkins off the tents, and I KNEW the young man wouldn’t see it. An electric blue broom (Purposely, so it would be readily visible)and I saw him some distance away, walking back, without the broom. I know that he did, in fact look.

    I met him half way and he told me it wasn’t there. Took the keys and went back to the truck while he went back to camp.

    Openned the van, and there it lay, right on top of things.

    While I was walking back I could see him squirming and talking to some of the other guys, and as soon as I walked up he insisted that it hadn’t been there when he looked. I asked what did he think; that I went down to the Lighthouse for the Blind and had them run one up and distress it special, just to make him look like a bozo?

    My sons were the same, I’d go to where I’d even SEEN them look, and there the needed item would be…and I’d hear, “But it wasn’t there…”!

    @ Lorena (beautiful music, “Lorena”) the same broom got the handle bent in half and one of our wags said, “Aw, one of the women probably flew it into a rock”. We all snickered after we saw that none of the women were close by.

  3. Lorena: I don’t know if she’s a witch, but her mind definately works differently. (((Wife))) and I both worked at a Friendly’s in New England. Now, at home, I’m the cook. At work? She could work the grill, make sundaes, run the register, and wait tables and keep it all coming out perfectly (on the same shift). I washed dishes. I was good at it. But ask me to do two things at once? Ain’t gonna happen. Her mind is just completely different.

    Sarge: And you always find it in the last place you look, right? (((Wife))) and I learned long ago not to be offended when we look in the same place the partner looked. Of course, I never find it where she looked, but she always finds whatever-it-is where I look.

  4. Wifeshui is the same. Somehow she always manages to find things that were apparently there all along, even though I had searched extensively myself. I’m assuming that wives can somehow project a Klingon-style cloaking field around everyday objects, thus making them invisible. They can then assert their superior finding-things skills, making their husbands appear incompetent.

    What? It’s a valid theory!

  5. Like I said, a guy thing. A young lady friend scornfully snorts about it, “Men! Hunter-gatherers, huh”! This is accompanied by rather acid comments wondering how anything got eaten, let alone hunted and found. Other hurtful, mean things.

    (((Billy))), I’ve noticed that about how you find things the last place you look, how ‘BOUT that??!! Maybe someone could do a scientific study…

  6. Yes, well they’re usually the ones putting things away, right? I know I tend to leave things scattered about, but even though it looks chaotic, I can find things by either thinking about the last time I used what I’m looking for or simply thinking about where I’d likely put it. Now if the wife happens to “straighten up”, well, how the fuck am I supposed to know where things are then?

  7. I myself have simply resigned myself to a life of mundane trade offs. I don’t even look for things anymore I just ask her and she has it faster than I could have gotten my butt out of the chair to go look. But, just let her misplace her keys and I get to show off mt obvious brilliance by being the only one that can find them.

  8. Sarge: Not only that, but all serious skiing injuries happen on that persons very last run of the day. Lesson? Never take the last run of the day.

    Philly: Good point. I have been trained, quite effectively, to not put things away. Which, of course, means that (((Wife))) is the only one who knows where anything is. Convenient, eh?

    Tau: Have you ever thought about intentionally misplacing her keys just to make yourself look good?

  9. Incidentally, I have found in the past that if I hide Wifeshui’s stuff, she tidys up in the process of trying to find it. Very useful character trait, that – to me, anyway…

  10. Yunshui: And have you told her this? Or are you as smart as your blog makes you sound?

  11. My husband is very good at finding stuff. He CAN find my car keys, and that says a lot for the guy.

    But when I give him instructions to find something, he behaves like a 5 year old. If I say the left corner of the bottom drawer, he opens the damned drawer, looks in the corner, and screams, “It isn’t there.”

    Then I go, “Well maybe not exactly the left corner. Couldn’t you just look around the drawer a bit?”

  12. Lorena: My (((Wife))) can tell exactly where anything is. Case in point: I will now ask her where the two-bladed Queen hunting knife is. Her answer? “Drawered box on top of the Barrister Bookcase, bottom drawer.” And yes, it’s there. Amazing. I didn’t know we had that box.

  13. What, is there a picture of Freddy Mercury on the handle or something?

  14. Philly: Wow. A cultural referrence I get. No. This is an example of the knife in question. Comfortable knife. Usable while still looking good. Big enough to be comfortable in my hand.

  15. Lorena…it’s a guy thing…

    (((Billy))), ya found Me out…

  16. Tau: Sorry.

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