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A Christian (a)Salt on Cooking

12 March, 2009

Christians (at least, the fundogelical Christianist dominionist asswipe types) keep missing the point.  I use kosher salt for a couple of reasons — it dissolves more quickly in bread dough (not sure if it does, but my bread rises better when I use kosher salt), I can sprinkle it on vegetables before they steam and it doesn’t fall off, and, well, because of the shape and texture of the crystals, I can use less (and still get the same effect) when grilling a nice ribeye, or chicken breast, or (shocking) a nice pork fillet.  I use kosher salt for its cooking properties.  I do not use it to show up Christianity.

From the Philly Examiner (no, not PhillyChief’s doctor):

Retired barber Joe Godlewski says he was inspired by television chefs who repeatedly recommended kosher salt in recipes.  (For the reasons I stated above)

“I said, ‘What the heck’s the matter with Christian salt?'” (Lot’s ?)Godlewski said, sipping a beer (Damn but it’s hard not to stereotype here)in the living room of his home in unincorporated Cresaptown, a western Maryland mountain community.

By next week (Halle-fucking-lujah!), his trademarked Blessed Christians Salt will be available at http://www.memphi.net, the Web site of Memphis, Tenn.-based seasonings manufacturer Ingredients Corporation of America.

It’s sea salt that’s been blessed by an Episcopal priest (a gay Episcopal priest?  a female Episcopal priest?  C’mon, man, be specific), ICA President Damon S. Arney said Wednesday. He said the company also hopes to market the salt through Christian bookstores and as a fundraising tool for religious groups.  (Just what the right-wing holey-roller christianists need, another fund-raising tool.  I guess that butts in the seats just ain’t cutting it anymore.)

Arney and Godlewski, 73, said a share of the proceeds will be donated to Christian charities, but neither would specify a percentage.  (The bidding will start at 1/20 of 1%.  Do I hear1/10?  1/10?  Going once, going twice . . . .)

Godlewski said his salt, packaged in containers bearing bright red crosses (Swiss Army Salt?), has at least as much flavor and beneficial minerals as kosher salt (Because it is sodium chloride.  You know, salt.  Exactly the same stuff) – and it’s for a good cause. (A good cause:  funding intolerance, bigotry, homophobia, and future scams.)
christian-blessed-salt1
“The fact is, it helps Christians and Christian charities,” (do what?) he said. “This is about keeping Christianity in front of the public so that it doesn’t die. (Unfortunately, no matter how many times the radical religious right shoots itself in the foot, Christianity will not die.  I can always hope that their political influence will die, but Christianity?  It’s like a boomerang.)  I want to keep Christianity on the table (in a salt shaker, no less), in the household, however I can do it.”
A one-time Catholic who now holds Bible studies in his home, Godlewski is a longtime entrepreneur. In 1998, he founded a kielbasa sausage business now run by a nephew (I wonder if they were Catholic sausages?  Do they come in choir boy buns?). In 2000, he introduced the Stretch & Catch (No, too easy.)  , a fishing gizmo that he says was copied and buried by foreign competitors.(Ah, I was wondering when the anti-immigration/forreigner bit would raise its ugly little head.)
If the salt takes off (Flying salt?), Godlewski plans an entire line of Christian-branded foods, including rye bread, bagels and pickles.

Food industry consultant Richard Hohman, of Tampa, Fla., said Christian branding is a clever idea that could do well in the Bible Belt.  (To quote K from Men in Black, “Damn, what a gullible breed.”)

 

Mocking things like this is easy (‘fish in a barrel’ is one of the categories I file this under).  But it also shows a deeper problem in America (aside from the rather obvious anti-semitism), at least, as it pertains to religion:  rather than looking at the facts (kosher salt is called kosher salt because it is used to kosher meat (draw the blood out of the meat), not to glorify Judaism or, somehow, denigrate Christianity), there is a knee-jerk reaction to ‘defend’ Christianity from a non-existent attack.  And the reaction tends to make the Christians involved look like idiots.  Many Christians are so wrapped up in being victims that they percieve anything as an attack.
 
 
 

 

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12 comments

  1. there is a knee-jerk reaction to ‘defend’ Christianity from a non-existent attack

    You’re probably right. On the other hand, maybe this is just a shrewd guy who saw an easy opportunity to make money off a few Christian asshats. When I look at it that way, I sorta wish I’d thought of it myself. 😉


  2. Chappy: You may be right. He did the Kielbasa thing, then the fishy thing, so now he’s selling salt in salt cellars. Judging from the quotes, though, I think he really is cheesed off that the Jews are getting the good press with the kosher salt.


  3. I use a few kosher foods, mainly because sometimes it’s the only way to get low allergen products.

    Heck, now I’ve given away another line of products for the Christian asshats to sell (or an idea for someone who wants to make a quick buck off gullible idiots). Hey Chappy perhaps we could go into business together? 🙂


  4. What a wanktard. Kosher salt is anti-christian? Really? Have you utilised your brain recently?


  5. I use either Kosher or sea salt grinder salt. I like both. I also like kosher hot dogs. This being Utah there isn’t a huge supply of kosher products in the regular grocery stores.


  6. Oz: But would you and Chappie really feel comfortable with yourselves fleecing the gullible? I tried selling cars (did it for about a year (and was real good at fleecing the gullible)) and decided joining the Army was a step up. You’d have to live with yourself.

    Craig: Not sure if he truly thinks that kosher salt is anti-Christian, but he definately thinks it is pro-Judaism.

    Poodles:

    This being Utah there isn’t a huge supply of kosher products in the regular grocery stores.

    seems to be a common refrain in Utarh. Liquor, beer, wine, sanity, you name it.


  7. Honestly, Christian salt? You know you’re paranoid when you’re offended by SALT >_< What a sack of crazy. Either that or a devious marketer looking to score some cash off the sheep willing to buy anything with the word ‘Christian’ on it…
    The stupid buuurns.

    (btw, not a new commenter. I commented here a couple of times as ‘Beth’ before I got a blog. Yeah. Sleep deprived brain thought that should be said.)


  8. The shelves of most supermarkets are full of kosher products, from Karo syrup to Heinz ketchup — it’s just that most people don’t recognize the symbol for kosher when they see it on the labels. Or did y’all think Jews dined solely on liberally salted Manichewitz matzos and gefilte fish washed down with Mogen David wine?


  9. Insertlifehere (if that is your name, Beth): And the odd thing is, I’m still surprised by Christian shenanigans.

    Nan: Are those symbols for kosher or kashrut?


  10. Well, kashrut are the dietary laws and kosher is something that complies with kashrut, so kosher. Here’s a URL for a guide to the symbols: http://www.hanefesh.com/edu/kosher_Food_Symbols.htm.


  11. Nan: That’s what I thought.


  12. […] Helping faculty members understand the mind of a dean added an interesting post on A Christian (a)Salt on CookingHere’s a small excerpt…and, well, because of the shape and texture of the crystals, I can use … it pertains to religion:  rather than looking at the facts (kosher… […]



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