You Can’t Make This Shit Up XII

25 February, 2009

I’m sure that some of you have heard that certain Republican governors (cough which sounds like Jindal) are planning to refuse some of the money in the Democratic economic stimulus package.  Why?  Well, in Jindal’s case, it is because he is running for President in 2012 and wants to solidify his base early.

Jindal has already called into question funding for volcano monitoring.  He seams to think that spending money to predict and mitigate natural disasters is pork.  Do you think that Jindal will complain when funding for hurricane tracking comes up?  Doubtful.  It is pure political posturing.  Posturing which, if he really does refuse some of the money, will create real hardship.

Luckily, some are noting the hypocrisy (from CBS news):

U.S. Rep. James Clyburn, D-S.C., the No. 3 House Democrat, said the governors – some of whom are said to be eyeing White House bids in 2012 – are putting their own interests first.

“No community or constituent should be denied recovery assistance due to their governor’s political ideology or political aspirations,” Clyburn said Wednesday.

So what would happen to citizens in a state with an ideological purist sitting in the governors seat?  Not to worry.  Governor Mark Sanford (R-SC) has a plan. 

On C-SPAN’s Washington Journal, Sanford sat for an interview and answered questions from callers.  One caller explained he had lost his job because he was taking care of sick relatives.  He told Sanford that refusing the money hurt him and his family.  Sanford lied, and said that state could not accept money to extend unemployment benefits because “increasing the tax on unemployment insurance” would negatively “impact the caller’s family” (from ThinkProgress). 

In another part of the call, this exchange:

CALLER: I hope you all are not playing politics with this. People in South Carolina are hurting. You know how unemployment rates are high right now and going up higher. We are running out of money in the unemployment bank — we need money for that, the people that need help. And I’m one of them, I can’t get no help. […]

SANFORD: Well I’d say hello to Charleston because its home and I’d say hello to this fellow this morning and say that my prayers are going to be with him and his family because it sounds like he is in an awfully tough spot.

That is Sanford’s plan.  Prayer.

Prayer will help pay the mortgage?  Prayer will help feed the family?  Prayer will help buy clothing?  Prayer will help buy shoes?  Gasoline? Medicine?  Oil for the furnace?  Electricity?  Phone bill?

Well, prayer is a way to feel like you are doing something while actually doing nothing.  I guess it is also a way to be compassionately conservative.



  1. Well the best thing is to keep track of this shit I guess.

    It’s very sad that these states may suffer severely due to whacked ideologues and their political aspirations, but if the nation overall is doing ok in 4 years while these states are in the shitter, well not only are these clowns’ aspirations fucked, but their party could be fucked even worse than it is now. Hell, maybe, just maybe, the people in these states will vote according to someone’s ability to govern, and not on ridiculous social views. Since we have only two parties, guess what that means?

  2. Nah, they’ll just claim that the Dems steered all the money to the blue states, it’s all a conspiracy to hurt True AmericansTM and True ChristiansTM so send your money to the Republicans so we can make the rich richer yadda yadda yadda.

    I don’t remember being this cynical before Bush II. Weird.

  3. Well part of it is age, but in many ways I feel we’ve aged more than 8 years under Bush II.

  4. What I found humorous was that when Jindal said his state would not take the fed money, the Governator jumped at it and said , “Well if he don’t want it, California will take it “.

  5. This is the best the Republicans have: Jindal, Palin, Limbaugh, Sanford, McCain, Steele et al? Put them all together in a room and you still couldn’t come up with a fully functional intelligence. On the other hand, you would have a room full of gassing assholes. Best perhaps to close the air vents and tape the doors shut and let nature take its course.

  6. “My prayers are going to be with him…”

    You know, old Pa Postman used to say to me, “Wish in one hand and spit in the other. See which one fills up first.”
    I’ve always taken that to heart. Too bad no one ever told Sanford, “Pray in one hand and spit in the other.” Or would that have helped?

  7. Philly: I know. I can feel my hair getting grayer.

    TauRaven: Schwarzeneger may be an asshole, but there is a brain in there.

    Ric: Limbaugh and Palin in a room together. Do you really want your mind to go down that road?

    Postman: I like that one.

  8. give a man a fish, you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish, he feeds himself and his family. by the same token, give a man a place to sleep and a meal, you take care of him for a day; give him the self-respect of faith, you give him the tools to live a moral life and raise himself up from degredation.

  9. Anton: So, are you saying that people are homeless because they are immoral and degraded?

    And use the caps key.

  10. Faith is the furthest thing from self respect. It’s self disrespect.

  11. So, all of us atheists are low and degraded? That explains a lot. Thanks.

  12. Philly: I look at faith as self-abuse.

    Postman: Only if we are homeless. I guess.

  13. Instill it in others, or use it to effect your decisions on courses of action, it becomes more than just self abuse.

  14. True. It’s my weekend, I’m a little slow this morning.

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