Chinese Food and Christian Bumper Stickers

16 January, 2009

I went down to one of our local Chinese takeouts for dinner this evening (sweet & sour chicken, barbecue pork (boneless), fried dumplings, and Hunan triple delight).  As I pulled into the parking lot, making a legal right turn, a small sedan attempted to make an illegal left turn out of the parking lot in my lane.

The driver rolled down his window (keep in mind, it is currently +7 here, so that shows some dedication on his part) and began screaming at me.  I continued driving (once he was out of the way) into the parking lot and pulled up in front of the restaurant.

Apparently, this guy was pissed.  He pulled an illegal U-turn, drove over a curb, and pulled up near me.  Shit, I thought, this could get serious.  He did not exit his vehicle, but continued to scream at me.  About a third of his rant was illegible.  About one third was pronouns and articles.  The final third was swear words.  My Babelfish does not translate crazy, so I have no idea what he was actually trying to convey.

Then he threw his car into reverse, drove over the curb (again) and roared away up the street in a cloud of burned oilsmoke and a hearty Hi-Ho Silver.  As he pulled away, I noticed the back of his car. 

No God           Know God
No Peace        Know Peace


Pray the Rosary!


Kids Need To Pray


God Is Love


and, of course, a Jesus fish.

I figure the car was stolen.  After all, no real Christian would ever act in such an uncivilized manor.



  1. Too bad you didn’t see the bumper sticker before the encounter. Calling Christians out as “not acting like a Christian” in a heated argument is one of the most fun, and rare, things one can do. I am always on the look out for such an opportunity.

  2. “Douche” doesn’t even begin to describe the dude, huh? Wow.

  3. It must have been an atheist borrowing a Christian’s car… (kidding)

  4. I figure the car was stolen. After all, no real Christian would ever act in such an uncivilized manor.

    I wonder if the guy is a pastor who late for prayer meeting? Per the recent subway debacle in New York, Christians sometimes get really uptight (and do strange, irresponsible things) when they’re late for church. All I can make of such behavior is that God has a stopwatch and records their arrival and departures times very carefully.

  5. DB: When someone is already that irrational, I hesitate to add fuel to the fire.

    Qbubbles: Welcome to my blog. Oh, I dunno. I can probably come up with some even more picquant epithets — asshat being my current favourite.

    Paul: Maybe a Muslim Terrorist(TM), even.

    Chappie: I think God’s stopwatch would be problematic — a second is like a thousand years (or some such conversion).

  6. Yes, that would have been a prime time to ask, “which passage is it that says thou shalt be a rude and ignorant ass?” or “do you think your little tirade is REALLY what Jesus would do right now?”

    The fool tries to persuade me with his words, the wise man persuades me with my own (or with what I allegedly subscribe to).

  7. Obviously he was speaking in tongues. It was some sort of divine traffic intervention. Hope that clears this up for everyone. Great Blog.

  8. Philly: Again, even had I noticed his bumper stickers prior to the insanity, I may (can’t be sure here) still have hesitated to add fuel to the fire.

    Ram: Speaking in tongues almost makes sense. As much as any of this sort of idiocy can make sense.

  9. Hey, maybe he was speaking in tongues? 🙂

  10. One more for you:

    I was stopped and waiting for a school bus with red flashing lights with my T Rex eating a jesus fish on the back of my car.

    A lady pulled up beside me and tried to pass on the right, even though you could clearly see there was a bus stopped. She was halfway up on the snowbank on the shoulder and almost scraped my car. I honked so she would stop. She rolled down her window, yelled something, and then kept driving… Jesus fish on the back, of course! 🙂

  11. Hey I’m surprised he didn’t pull out his semi auto and waste you, he was after all a Xian, guns and Xians go hand in hand, praising the lord one day, out killing something the next…………….

  12. Sunny: Welcome to my blog. It always amazes me how people are willing to risk catastrophe (or at least higher insurance rates) to gain a fifteen or twenty second advantage. And they are pissed at those of us who follow the rules.

    Hoffy: Welcome. Glad you could stop by. That is one of the main reasons I am as non-confrontational as possible.

  13. The woman who ran me down two summers ago, the person who hit me again while some people got me out from under the Jeep, and many of the others that almost got me, several probably more than half, had some religious bumper sticker, fish logo, or some fraternal organisation emblem on them.

    When the cops finally got there, the first thing out of the woman’s mouth was, “I’m a christian woman…!”

  14. Sarge: Did she continue with “. . . so I ran over the atheist socilaist”?

    I’ve always had a problem with bumper stickers and logos (point of fairness, I have a Lewis & Clark Trail logo and a Yellowstone sticker on my car). If I have a bumper sticker supporting a candidate or cause (or theological perversion) and do something stupid while driving, what does that tell people about the causes and people I support? (not sure if that made sense, but it is Sunday morning (and it is cold (and snowing))).

  15. […] Read the original here:  Chinese Food and Christian Bumper Stickers « (((Billy))) The Atheist […]

  16. 大変ですよね、就職活動






  17. Mark 16: 16 He that believeth and is baptized, shall be saved: but he that believeth not shall be condemned.


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