Church Signs #12 (A Quickie)

13 January, 2009

One of our local churches has this sign on display:

What is your number one reason for not worshipping God? 

I can answer that one.  God does not exist.  I don’t worship unicorns, faeries, ethical Republicans, or any other mythical beasts.



  1. Because one of the commandments tells us not to worship false idols.

  2. DB: Good one.

  3. Because I worship my DOG instead.

  4. You really don’t have to go beyond he doesn’t exist. If he did, my #1 reason would be he’s a dick.

    I would assume though that where you’re at, that’s not meant the way we’re reading it. My guess is it’s asking why you aren’t in church, and those answers for Christians I’m sure are quite entertaining.

  5. Have you noticed that entities (or their proxys) which DEMAND worship are unworthy of even contempt?

  6. Because I don’t want to waste my time screwing around with imaginary narcissistic psychopaths. And that was just my old Sunday school play group.

  7. It’s a toss up between “he/she/it doesn’t exist” and “I prefer sleeping in.” The second answer could fit Philly’s scenario, the implied question being, “why isn’t your ass parked in my pew this morning?”

  8. Vamp: I didn’t realize you are also dyslexic.

    Philly: Yeah. Butts in the seats (and money on the plate) is what it’s all about.

    Sarge: Generally, if someone (or something) is worth respect, they don’t have to demand or threaten.

    Ric: Must have been an interesting Sunday school play group. Did they have Sunday school way back then?

    Chappie: I agree.

  9. () –

    That play group was famous, or infamous, in underground SS circles for producing a higher percentage of serial killers, mass murderers, and Republican and Conservative politicians than any other in its time.

    Forgive my failure to comprehend, but what do you mean by ‘way back then’? (Did I mention that I still maintain some contacts with my SS play group?)

  10. Ric: By, um, ‘way back then,’ I attempted to imply a certain, shall we say . . . . Ah, screw it. It was an agist joke. The young people got it and understood.

    And why is Social Security concerned with the adult proclivities of your play group?

  11. Mark 16: 16 He that believeth and is baptized, shall be saved: but he that believeth not shall be condemned.


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