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You Can’t Make This Shit Up IX

28 October, 2008

According to a new study (so far involving mice), hydrogen sulfide production within the body may help control hypertension.  Translation:  the part of the fart that stinks may be good for you. 

One big change?  We have to change the joke:

Why do farts stink?

So deaf people can enjoy them, too.  To help control high blood pressure.

It also means that (((Wife))) should no longer complain.  It’s keepin’ the old BP down.

Of course, it also means that the old rhyme has more reality in it than the Bible:

Beans, beans, their good for your heart,
The more you eat, the more you fart.
The more you fart, the better you feel,
So eat your beans at every meal.

Yes, I know this little diversion is immature.  But after watching nine McCain/Palin adds in a half-hour (watching the news regarding our snowstorm), I figured that humour aimed at a 13-year-old mentality is actually an improvement.

(((Wife))) asks:  “So should we eat the gassy mice?”

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8 comments

  1. Yes but you know McCain and Palin will be condemning government wasteful spending on studying farting mice. Come on, you know it.


  2. Yeah, they’ll want to divert the farting mice funds to studying something really urgent, like fighting witchcraft and atheism. The ATF will be expanded and renamed: The Bureau of Firearms, Alcohol, Tobacco, Witchcraft and Atheism. The abbreviation will be FATWA. Coincidence? I think not.


  3. No. Feed the gassy mice to the neurotic cat. Maybe he’ll get closer to normal.


  4. Philly: I bet you a neurotic cat that you are right.

    Chappie: FATWA? Scary. Too close to reality to be funny.

    Ric: Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off. (There has to be a shorter way of saying that).


  5. One could just see a snake garphing down a pair of such mice. Then all of a sudden zooming through the grass, straight as an arrow, not moving a muscle…

    When my sons were little they kept guinnea pigs as pets and one day they fed them pieces of lemon peel. The critters loved them, and it gave the things gas that would have knocked the eyeballs out of a dragon.

    My wife opined that perhaps this was the method used by Picasso to warp the watches in his “Pesistence of Memory”.


  6. Sarge: Rocket-propelled snake. Love it.

    We had Guinea Pigs when we lifed in California and Arizona. Never thought about giving them lemon peels.

    (((Wife))) and I had always assumed that Dali (not Picasso) was inspired by house cats for that particular painting.


  7. I can never remember which one of those guys did what, thanks for the heads up.

    I have NO idea to this day what prompted my son to give them pieces of lemon peel. All I know is that they just loved them and they caused quite a reaction.

    My Atheist cuz and his preacher wife were visiting and the kids came running in from where the creatures were kept, holding their noses and yelling, “Eeeeewwww”!

    My wife and my cuz-in-law both gave us “The Death Look”, but Arnie said, “What!!?? We’ve both been here for the last twenty minutes at least”!

    They wanted to blame us, but we stood clean as the driven snow.


  8. At the very least, the Guinea Pigs had low blood pressure. Even if the wives were experiencing husband induced high-blood-pressure, the geepees were healthy.



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