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Church Signs #10

28 October, 2008

One of the Methodist Churches in our valley has the following sign posted out front:

God Answers All Prayers:

Yes, Not Yet or
I Have A Better Plan

 

So if I pray to God and ask for something, I might get what I want.  Or I might not.  Or something completely different and/or unexpected will happen.  Oddly, if I ask the Invisible Pink Unicorn, or John McCain the honorable Republican, or the Great Arklesiezure, or any other mythical being, I might get what I want.  Or I might not.  Or something completely different and/or unexpected will happen.  Or, if I live my life as if there were no mythical beings, exactly the same thing will happen with exactly the same ratio.

 Prayer Does Not Work . Or, at the very least, it works at exactly the same rate that random chance would indicate.  It’s almost as if those mythical beings listed above don’t exist.  No.  I take that back.  It is exactly as if those mythical beings listed above don’t exist.

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6 comments

  1. I have the perfect solution, (((Billy))): Send your prayers, and more importantly, your tithes, to me. 🙂


  2. I think Carlin did a skit on this particular subject once, it was really quite good. Praying to Joe Pesci.


  3. Chappie: Prayers yes. Tithes go to Clarion University of Pennsylvania.

    Matt: Welcome to my blog. What would I ask Joe Pesci for? For that matter, what would George Carlin ask for? Sounds like an interesting piece. I’ll keep an eye open for it.


  4. I believe this YouTube clip encompasses the Joe Pesci routine:


  5. I’d hazard a guess that if you lived your life like there was no mythical beings, your ratio of getting what you want would be higher. Because you know there’s no point in praying, you make an effort to get it.


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