Church Signs #9

14 July, 2008

Seen on a church near my home (batteries in the camera were dead (and with the price of gas, we are not going to drive over there just for a photo)):

The Big Book Says It And That’s That

Which big book?  Richard Scary’s Biggest Word Book Ever?  Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary?  Jane’s All The World’s AircraftThe Kama SutraThe Great Book of World War II Airplanes?  Seriously.  Which book?

I assume (since it’s a church (a Bible church (not one of those Necronomicon churches))) that they mean the Bible.  I always have to wonder — which version?  which translation?  with the Paul insertions or without?  I get the impression, from talking to theists, from reading the posts and comments of theists on line, and from reading the newspaper, that most Christians have absolutely no idea of the history of the Bible.  Yet they claim it is the one, the only, truth which tells the word of God and shows how to live one’s life and is the only source of morality.

But, I guess that’s one of the advantages of belief.  Proofs do not matter.  History does not matter.  Contradictions do not matter.  Additions and deletions do not matter.  With faith, you don’t even have to think — The Big Book Says It and That’s That.

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  1. Maybe someone should steal the church’s big display Bible and replace it with a big Kama Sutra. I wonder how long it would be before someone noticed the swap?

  2. I dunno, Chappie. Some of the Priests (and pastors (it’s not just a Catholic problem)) may use it as an additional instruction manual for the altar boys.

    I bet they’d notice pretty quick — some of those positions are designed to make it pleasureable for the woman, and I don’t think that’s appropriate in some versions of Christianity.

  3. Well then, bats are birds, pi = 3, the Earth is a circular disc which is at the center of the universe with everything else fixed above us in the “firmament”, we’re all interrelated, and that’s not even scratching the surface of the real crazy stuff. Woo

  4. Bertrand Russell and H. L. Menken had some very relevent and pithy opinions on that.

    The burden of using one’s brain.

    Here I have to struggle along with a malfunctioning, damaged one and there are people out there who refuse to use one that’s operational.

  5. I’m so very, very, very tempted to make the Kama Sutra my big book.
    Seriously, though, it’s not just the fact that theists claim to rely on a single book that frightens me, it’s how selectively they read it. And also how they add things whenever it’s convenient. Take for instance that Sixth Commandment, the one usually written as “Thou shalt not kill.” That’s the way it’s written. Apparently it’s usually read, “Thou shalt not kill anyone who shares thy religious, political, and social beliefs. Everyone else is fair game.”

  6. I am pretty sure I still have my Big Book of Colors from when I was a child here somewhere. Does that count?

  7. Christopher: That’s what makes religion so much fun: they give a general comment, and then each auhority figure gets to decide what it means.

    Poodles: Only if the colours are Aryan white and Aryan blonde.

  8. Well, if thats the case, and if the bible says it, how much is your daughter? My dad’s birthday is coming up and I think he’d like a sex slave. Do you think the pastor’s daughter is more expensive? Whats the price difference between blonde and brunette?

    (I’m sure thats the part of the bible that doesn’t count anymore. Its funny how whats true in the bible is so closely related to the morals of whose reading it.)

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