If you’re not careful, you learn something new every day!14 June, 2008
I drove up to Sheetz to pick up (((Boy))) from work (it’s really not that far, but it’s raining, so . . .) and noticed what I thought was a bunch of Shriner’s stickers on the back of a ratty old Oldsmobile. While stopped behind them at the light, I was surprised to read:
Shriners: Saving Children For The Anti-Christ
Shriners Are The Anti-Christ.
Shriners. The guys in the funny hats with the kazoo bands and little cars in parades. The guys who, in conjunction with the Masonic Lodge, help kids. The ones who help about (by their count) 800,000 children in burn and orthopaedic clinics.
Now I knew already that the Masons are a bugaboo for many of the Christian sects. The secrecy, coupled with the unusual history of the group, brings conspiracy theorists out of the woodwork (unrelated thought: how do the ones who insist that the United States of America is a Christian nation reconcile that theory with the fact that some of our founding fathers were Masons (including good old George Washington)). There are lots of them. According to one web site, there are 3 million Masons in North America, and a total of 2 million worldwide (I guess that a million of them disappear into another dimension when they are counted globally). Many conservative Christian groups regard the Masons as a tool of the Anti-Christ. But the Shriners?
Well, according to my extensive research (of about 15 minutes on Google), the Shriners are part of the anti-Christ. They use Islamic symbols. They (apparently) help crippled children and engage in child prostitution. Both Allah and Lucifer are the gods of the Shriners. You think I’m kidding? I found it at a reputable site called Vatican Assassins (I did not read the entire document (this is called full disclosure). I had better things to do (sleep, read, cook, breath, file my toenails, twiddle my thumbs (both directions)).
Some of it is even corroborated at another scholarly site called EndrTimes. But he also includes a secret FBI investigation which was settled secretly out of court.
After finding these two wonderful sites, I realized that I had learned something new. Helping crippled children is evil (not sure, though, if that is the Platonic free-standing ideal of Evil, or just a descriptive form).
The Catholic Church preaches that good works are important. Helping the poor, helping children, caring for the weak and infirm help gain credits (which, I assume, are redeemable in heaven). One of Luther’s innovations was advancement to heaven through faith alone. But even the most hard-core evangelical fundamentalist christianist asshat can agree that helping children is good. But not if you are a Shriner.
Damn. Here I thought that the Shriners (an independent non-profit group associated with the Masons) were doing a good job helping to alleviate suffering. Apparently, I was wrong.
Well, my (((Dad))) always said, “If you’re not careful, you learn something new every day. (((Billy))), you weren’t careful.”