Good News and Bad News

18 May, 2008

Today was one of those really strange days.  The weather is squirrelly (or, as it is said around here, ‘skroilly’):  sunny and warm in the morning, turning to November around noon, then windy and sunny in the afternoon.  Then, to top it off, my glasses broke (Bad News).

Not just the usual missing screw (that sounds dirty, doesn’t it?) or lense popping out, but the fram actually broke.  Right where the metal piece across the top meets the nasal arch, it snapped.  My lense made a wonderful sound (almost like fine crystal) as it hit the floor in my office (I use glass lenses (with lined  bifocals (I tried the no line things and they made me feel ill)) as plastic ones get shredded in the dust and ashes of wildland fires). 

Luckily, my optometrist has Sunday hours.  I called my wife and asked her to meet me there with money.  I filled out a leave slip.  I figured out how to cover what I was supposed to do that day.  I drove down (wearing my prescription sunglasses) hoping that they had a frame my lenses would fit into (otherwise, there goes a big chunk of my ‘stimulus’ cheque) in stock.  The young lady was very helpful.  And she found a frame (a mid-priced frame, at that) into which my lenses fit (Good News).  The frame she found was damaged, so tomorrow I go back to get the lenses put in (assuming the new frame (matching the damaged one she found) comes in). 

Then she said something that floored me:  “Remember to thank God tonight.  He made sure these frames were here.” 

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Bad News)

Here I was about to thank her for being able to eyeball the shape of my lense and find a frame to fit.  Or maybe quick thanks to the frame company which, rather than completely redesigning the frame, just changed the temples.  Or a quick thank you to slow stock turnover.  Silly me.  I should have been thanking an imaginary bronze-age deity.  I’d bet dollars to donuts that if no frame to fit was there in stock, she wouldn’t have blamed God.  Oh, no.  She would have blamed the supplier, the manufacturer, her boss, or even the one who orders the frames.

What the hell is wrong with people?   Can’t anyone take credit where credit is due, or blame where blame is due?  Have we become a nation of conservative politicians?



  1. Now, if I was that girl and using my knowledge and my brain, found your frames and saved you some extra money, you better as hell thank me. Thanking some imaginary deity for my hard work might get your other lens broken 🙂
    Its the same in nursing, the doctors, respiratory therapists, and nurses work hard all night saving your loved from possible death, and that god gets all the credit. Just once, I’d like to see god come in and do some actual work!

  2. I think I’d have a number of things quickly scrolling through my head to say, like Ahnold had in the first Terminator…
    Which god would that be, honey?
    How do you know it’s god’s work and not Satan’s?
    Are you saying you nor anyone else in this office ever filled out a purchase order for these frames?
    Shouldn’t YOU be thanking god for not striking you down for working on the Sabbath?
    If god provided them, do I still have to pay you?

  3. Sabrina: If you’re waiting for god (and or all of them) to come and do some work, you’ve got a long wait. You’ll have better luck waiting for your husband (significant other/life partner/whatever) to notice that the cat-box needs to be scooped, and then doing it.

    Philly: I wish I had at least a few minutes warning before some asstheist comes out with one of these mindblowing idiocies so I could think up one or two good comebacks (I know, Philly — you come up with the one or two without any warning, but coming up with five takes a moment, right?).

  4. I love Philly’s comments.

    I’ve never had any stranger ever say anything to me like that. What is it with you and vjack and people prostelytizing?

  5. I guess I just look like I need help. And I was in uniform at the time, too.

  6. OG said: “I’ve never had any stranger ever say anything to me like that.”

    I hear it pretty often. I’m so used to it, I barely even notice it.

    I also like Philly’s responses, especially the last one. 🙂 Philly, you are so wicked!

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