Pre-Dawn (almost) Car Wreck23 March, 2008
This time of year, I am at work by 7:45 in the morning. This means I leave my house at 7:00. This means that I (thanks to Daylight Savings Time) drive to work in the pre-dawn grey (though sometimes the sunrises are nice) — of course, in Northeastern Pennsylvania, grey is a common colour throughout the day).
I stopped at a stoplight next to a closed bar (which, in this area, is really odd (it was named Elmer Sudds)). My light turned green, I hesitated (there’s always one more sonuvabitch than you counted on (corollary to Murphy’s Law)), then tapped the gas. I immediately stomped on the brake. Hard. A large black Cadillac whipped out of the side street and roared up the street. The driver was wearing a clerical collar, he had a cell phone stuffed in his ear, and a Clergy sticker on the back of the car.
Judging from the time, I’d say he was real late for sunrise services. After all, he has to be there when the groundhog comes out of the tomb and drops fireworks into your stocking. Or is it when Santa does it with the turkey while the leprechaun watches? Or maybe its the day when the Zombie cooks the groundhog after stuffing it with eggs and hanging it on the solstice tree while . . . . Ah, hell. I admit the whole Easter thing confuses the hell out of me.
One thing that does not confuse me is that this is the second time in as many months that a member of the clergy has cut me off while driving a car that most likely cost more than my house did in ’95. What happened to caring for your fellow man? What happened to the vow of poverty? What happened to the Papal pronouncement about polite driving? Asshole!