One Odd Thought, One Strange Conversation, and a Joke in Need of Help

16 March, 2008

Yeah, I know.  On this blog, odd thoughts, bad jokes, and strange conversations are de rigeur.

There is a gentleman that I know who is very Catholic.  He has decided he will only marry a virgin (problem is, he’s closing in on 40, and hanging around Junior High schools would be, well, creepy).  He takes Papal pronouncements as damn near gospel.  He has also stated that “global warming is a plot liberals thought up so they could do away with capitalism.”  So here’s the odd thought:  the Pope (with or without infallability) has declared that contributing to global warming is a mortal sin (as PhillyChief put it, the expansion pack).  So how will this good Catholic reconcile the pronouncements of the Pope with the pronouncements of Rush Limbaugh?  What happens when one set of cognitive dissonances runs into another? (Wife:  “Sonic boom?”)

Now for the odd conversation.  Another gentleman I know has a propensity (or would that be penchant) for malapropisms. The problem is, they are unintentional, innapropriate, and he is clueless about them.  The other day, he got to talking about Papal Inflammability (strange, I thought it was the little orange guys who burst into flames).  Yes, Papal Inflammability. 

So, three of us were talking this morning, and here’s how it went:

“Remember a couple of days ago when he said, Papal Inflammability?”

” Yeah, that was one of his best.”

Me:  “You know that he’s only inflammable if he is speaking ex cathedra?” (something I learned from this blog)

“What’s that?”

Me:  “Ex Cathedra?  From the throne.”

“So he’s only inflammable if he speaks from the throne?”

Me:  “Right.”

“So if he takes a dump and says, ‘Wow, that was a big one,’ we know he got it from God?”

“Or he needs to light a match.”

Me:  “That’s why they call it Papal Inflammability.”

“So what did they do before indoor plumbing?”

Me:  “They must have gotten that in 1869, because that was the first time the Pope was declared inflammable.”

One other thing:  here’s a joke in search of a punchline:

How do you know Spitzer was a Democrat?

My punchlines are

1. It was a female prostitute.


2. The liberal news reported it quickly.

Wife:  “Elliot Spitzer swallows.”

Obviously, the joke needs help.  I look to most of ya’ll for help.  Help.  If you can think of a better punchline, let me know.



  1. Why doesnt Eliot Spitzer wear red suspenders?
    To keep his pants down.

  2. just in case you didnt know, an athiest told me that joke and i thouhgt it was funny so i left it. but im not that good at telling them so sorry if you dont like it. blame athiests not me.

  3. Trinity: I ALWAYS blame the atheists.

  4. How do you know Spitzer was a Democrat?
    – He resigned.

  5. Good joke with some good answers, including Philly’s.

    Your wife seems to be quite a character. You need to get her to write some posts.

  6. self confidence quotes

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