Military Unicorns

19 February, 2008

I found this over at PZ Myers’ fantastic blog, Pharyngula.  He’s pretty sure the soldier is being sarcastic.  I hope he is:

Here’s a picture of me celebrating Ash Wednesday shortly before going out on mission. The Catholic Priest also blessed all of our Gun Trucks. You can’t ask for much more protection than that when doing Convoy Security. Unless of course, I painted a picture of a unicorn on the side of my Gun Truck. I don’t know anyone who could hurt a unicorn. Especially one that has magic dust. Those are my favorite.

So he’s painted a picture of an imaginary beast on the side of his truck just in case his imaginary friend up in the sky skimps on his imaginary protection even though the priest who interprets for the imaginary guy in the sky has already placed ashes (which is the only sensible thing here:  we will return to dust (unless we’re sealed in one of those hermetic coffins)) on his forehead in honour of the imaginary sacrifice to save us all from the righteous rage of the imaginary guy in the sky when we act like the human beings which we are. 

 Why not paint kittens on the vehicle?  They’re real AND cute.



  1. Why not paint kittens on the vehicle? They’re real AND cute.

    Dog lovers would surely disagree with you.

  2. Dog lovers don’t believe in kittens? Really?

    And yes, to be fair, puppies are cute (but there’s a reason there are so many ‘P’s in the word).

  3. Why not just ride out to do your mission on a unicorn? If a unicorn is not available, the mission would have to be cancelled.

  4. Maybe McCain could ride through Baghdad on the horn of a unicorn (and where should said horn be placed?) to show us all how safe the city is now. Nah, that wouldn’t work. I think unicorns will only carry virgin females.

  5. What about painting Muhammad on the side of our vehicles? It’s not like his image is expressly banned or anything. Surely Muslims would not attack their own prophet..

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