15 February, 2008

My wife says:

Put down the blog and back away from the computer.

Why does she say this?  I checked out (on my stats) how people found my site.  Apparently, someone out there went to Google, typed in “crushed his genitals,” and my site was number 7 on the list because of my post, Three Cases to Consider.  My question for the blogosphere is:  what kind of mind actually searches for “crushed his genitals?”  My wife says, “A vindictive female mind.  Duh!”

 So, those of you out there with blogs, what is the strangest search which has found your site?



  1. I think my strangest hit was “Pharyngula herd of cats.”

  2. Hey Parenthetical. I’m gonna leave you with a whole load of strange searches that resulted in my inventing a new art form: Googl-oetry.

  3. Absolute top of the list has to be “pooing on my tits”. I wrote it in the context of a squirrel defecating on the blue-tit ornaments I have in my garden. I have no clue what possessed the person concerned to type it in.

    Recently, it’s been “fucking a malagasy girl” (please censor it if you’re a no-swearing blog or have readers of a nervous disposition, but I didn’t want to be overly coy), “fertilisation rate of ginger journal” and “t rex jurassic park sound effects u tube” (I love how it’s “U Tube”, not “YouTube”…).

    My husband’s site has had “Osterley pussy”. We assume someone has lost their cat in the neighbourhood just north of ours.

  4. Here are the top ten search terms that found me, according to WordPress:

    snow 3,662
    hell 2,534
    sexual positions 2,248
    sex positions 2,125
    santa clause 1,658
    spanish inquisition 819
    spanish inquisitor 597
    kama sutra 345
    santa 258
    the last supper 246

    Snow, for some reason gets the throw off post I wrote about snow. I’, apparently an expert of sexual positions and hell, too. However, this (سكسي) has to be the most quizzical, because I haven’t the foggiest idea what it means. I think it’s Arabic.

  5. Never mind that. I’m barely restraining myself from writing a post about crushing genitals. I’m getting tired of ‘sears repair center’ being most popular. (Of course now I know why Sears is going down the tubes, but will they listen to me… nooooo!)

  6. What does a Grumpy Lion have to do with Sears Roebuck and Company? A disgruntled panther, I could see. Or maybe even a peeved pussy. But a Grumpy Lion? And Sears? It makes no sense.

    If you do post about crushing genitals, I’m sure you will be as creative and cynical as usual.

  7. Sorry, SI. WordPress flagged your response as SPAM. Not sure why. SNOW???????

  8. SNOW???????

    Yes, it was this post, for some ungodly reason. My second most popular post to date, and it was a throwaway post. Go figure.

    And Grumpy Lion is now the Peeved Pussy. LOL!

  9. Someone found my site yesterday by searching for: “Christian college that is not apostate.” What kind of mind searches for that phrase? It probably belongs to someone I’ privileged not to know.

  10. Just in the last couple of days I’ve had these gems:

    garbage oridinary girl
    drissing up games in porly girls
    why homeopathy is saying bad of baby girls and all girls?
    essays about abortion, a.c.e christian schools
    chris angel pulls lady apart in park and beyond ordinary
    another goddamned podcast

    I think I’m going to have to copy Ex and make some poetry from all of the entries.

  11. Si says: this (سكسي) has to be the most quizzical, because I haven’t the foggiest idea what it means. I think it’s Arabic.

    Maybe it’s a sex position. I think the subscript curve at the left might be the family dog, watching.

  12. (سكسي)could be a kayaker (moving right to left) about to go over a small drop (on the left) with a hydraulic?

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