Bumper Stickers

10 February, 2008

Driving home from work tonight, I got behind an old, beat up Dodge Omni (favoured food of all omnivores).  It had six bumper stickers: 

1.  “Pray the Rosary for Peace” — I can see that.  I really don’t care how we achieve peace, as long as we get peace without subjugating others.

2.  “Pray for our Troops” — Again, I can see that.  I thought that was okay, until I saw the fine print across the bottom which had the 800 number for the 700 club (why not a ‘700’ number?).

3.  “God Made George W. Bush America’s President” — Odd, I thought that the U.S. Supreme Court made him President (let’s all explain ‘State’s Rights’ to Florida, eh?).

4.  “A Woman’s Place is Under A Man” — Ummmmmmmmmmm . . . .  The three women driving this car were in their late 200s.  I can’t imagine the last time either one of them was . . .  Oh, okay, I guess they refer to the idea that a woman is to man as man is to god.  My daughter (15) laughed at that one.

5.  “Life Begins at Conception” — and ends in Iraq

6.  “Man + Woman = Marriage” — I had no idea, absolutely no idea, that marriage was mathematical.

I am constantly amazed at how effective the Republican Party has been at convincing people to vote against their economic interests.  If abortion is ever outlawed, and gay marriage made unconstitutional, how will the conservatives get the ‘morality’ vote?

 Oddly, there were no creationism or school prayer bumper stickers.  Maybe they fell off with the back bumper.



  1. So the question is: What are they trying to prove by the bumper stickers? Do they get a better place in heaven by having six of them instead of just two or three?

  2. From a woman’s perspective, on top is better. 😀

  3. Ex: I think (given the age of the vehicle in question) that the bumper stickers are holding the car together. In high school, there was a kid with an old Dodge Superbee, and the entire car (save the windows) was covered with bumper stickers from local radio stations. It was cheaper than a paint job.

    Poodles: Every position has its benefits. 😛

  4. Well it’s just as well there’s my car kicking around then, as my bumper stickers cancel out theirs! I have a Camarasaurus skull sticker, a PRI Coelophysis (a present from a friend who works there), one of my own Ethical Palaeontologist stickers, a “Cowgirl” sticker from Denver (a honeymoon souvenir, endorsed by my husband who is always looking for another excuse not to drive) and my second “Support a united Pangaea” sticker (the first one got stolen – we think by some outraged NIMBYs who thought Pangaea was a country in the middle-east).

    On the car itself I have a Darwin fish, a Flying Spaghetti Monster, a UT Longhorns decal and my SVP sticker. In the rear window I have an RSPB (British version of the Audubon Society) sticker, an English Heritage sticker, a Peak District National Park sticker and a High Peak Radio sticker (where I have a fortnightly late-night science slot).

    And around my rearview mirror I have half a dozen mardi-gras beads. I think my car (who’s called Christine) must therefore be the exact opposite of that Dodge, and it’s probably just as well they will never sit next to each other in a car-park, because then it would be like matter and anti-matter.

  5. Julia: Coelophysis? I thought that was called Rioarribasaurus? Just kidding. (Lets not go there again).

    On my car, I have a Lewis and Clark Expedition oval sticker (William Clark was a great-somethingorother uncle) and a ROMO (Rocky Mountain National Park) oval.

    Back in the 80s, my mom had a bumper sticker which read “The Moral Majority is Neither” on our Ford Fairmont wagon. The tires got slashed. Twice.

  6. I’m waiting to find my Darwin fish’s feet chiselled off. Apparently that degree of vandalism is quite common over your way, but I’ve only ever seen two Darwin fish other than my own over here (one is just up the road from me, the other used to be spotted on my commute when I used to have to drive).

    I want the little feet you can get to “evolve” Jesus fish…

    I had my front passenger tyre let down, probably deliberately (as it’s not a slow puncture). We live opposite a mosque. But we’ve never had any problem before, so I suspect it was just some of the local youths instead.

  7. I only have an alien head on my car. I also have an alien head antenna ball. The greens not the greys, everybody knows the greys are assholes. 😛

  8. Nice. Yeah, they sure do love to vote against their economic well-being over and over again. The best thing the Republican Party ever did was to make it appear that it is allied with conservative Christianity and decency. Want to take the attention of the Republican faithful off of their economic condition and troubles, not to mention the fact you are doing nothing about them? Just switch the public dialogue to something like gay marriage or abortion or flag burning or how those damned atheists are trying to take “under God” out of the Pledge (cleary this is an abridged list). ‘Asinine’ is a good word for such conduct and its ability to work every time. The party of values my ass.

  9. If they were to get their way on abortion and gay marriage, they would just have to keep manufacturing things to be outraged about. Look at their Christmas wars and imagine how much more of that crap we’d see if they had no other causes.

  10. vjack is right. Since Christianity is (notwithstanding its self-generated PR) a dogma of exclusion, its leaders must maintain us vs. them distinctions to ensure the religion’s survival. Take away those distinctions and there is no more reason to adhere to Christianity than to any other belief system.

  11. Being the more radical half, I have a Darwin fish and a Pagan one just to be snarky. My wife has the Sushi and Fish ‘n Chips fish on her car.

    I have mixed feelings about having all that crap on your car. When the car is unattended it could be victimized due to them and when, say, you get stopped by the cops, well, who needs to piss them off with something? That’s why I display my PAL sticker. 😉

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