First off, let me wish everyone a Happy National Turkey Genocide Day.  Of course, being different, we had a roast chicken.  And mashed potatoes (homemade).  And roasted Brussels sprouts.  And cranberry sauce.  I am now fulfilling another Thanksgiving Day tradition by watching the Lions lose.  And, while I digest all the good stuff, here’s a useful recipe for anyone who has vegetarians for dinner (if vegetarians eat vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?):  vegetarian stuffing (and yes, I know this would have been more useful a week ago, but (((Wife))) and I wanted to test our idea to see if it was edible).

Vegetarian Bread Stuffing

(Do not put the vegetarian stuffing inside the bird:  that would negate the vegetarianism.)

12 cups of bread cubes (whole wheat and white (no rye))
6 stalks celery (with leaves (if present)) halved lengthwise and chopped
2 yellow onions, peeled and sliced lengthwise
2 Tbsp rubbed sage
1 Tbsp ground savory
1 Tbsp ground white pepper
1 Tbsp marjoram
1 – 2 tsp Kosher salt
1 cup carrots, cut into 2 inch lengths and slivered
1 stick butter, melted
3 cups of really good vegetable broth (I use Wegmans, the kind that comes in a cardboard box)

Mix together the bread, celery, onions, sage, savory, pepper, marjoram and salt.  Keep mixing it until the seasonings are evenly distributed.  Then pour in the broth and the butter and mix until all the bread is a little damp.

Place in a large covered dish and bake, covered, for about an hour at 350 degrees.  Remove the lid and let it go for another 1/2 hour.

Vegetarian (((Girl))) pronounced it delicious.

And again, Happy National Meleagris Genocide Day!

The radical Christian right (the folks who assassinate doctors, teach children lies about their bodies, try to force their special version of unreality into American public school classrooms and, basically, are trying to create an American Christian version of Iran) have a thing about sex.  Specifically, they are paranoid about sex.  They are afraid that somewhere, a woman might be enjoying the act.

Christian children, the children of radical Christians, are taught that sex is bad.  Physical contact is bad.  Physical pleasure is bad.   Being anything other than exactly what your parents say your preacher says the Bible says God says you should be is bad.  And touching yourself (or others) is bad.  Being human, in other words, is bad.

So what about hugs?  Are hugs okay?  Well, it depends on two things:  first, can you tolerate Christian Gangsta Rap?  Second, do you have a sense of humour?

This is making the rounds clogging up the intertube thingies:

Yes, God wants us to be compassionate and kind and tender with each other. Not only that, but he wants us to love our enemies and serve our neighbors. As long as there is no body on body action. I’m talking of course about a “full frontal hug,” one of those sinful abominations where you just wrap your arms around a friend and embrace them. That’s why Christians the world over have pioneered the “side hug.” In the side hug there’s no risk of two crotches touching. Instead of face to face, you go side to side, putting your arm around the person and your hip against their’s. Still having a hard time mastering it? Pretend you’re taking a photo and you’re both looking at the camera together. The side hug, or A frame as it is also called, is safe for the whole family, friendly and above all holy. I don’t know the exact scripture reference but try the book of Psalms. (from SCL (Stuff Christians Like))

The video is new (found via The Huffington Post), but the humourous idea of the Christian Side Hug appears to be about two years old.  I can see this catching on among Christian young’uns.  Well, not the young’uns.  More likely the narrow-minded authoritarians masquerading as right-wing Christian parents.  I guess the kids can do the side hug before or after (not both, that would be too much) some sweaty saddlebacking.

I confess that I find the pseudo-fallacious Christian side hug to be much less offensive than the Christian gangsta rap video.  Of course, that’s just me.

When I graduated from college with an honours degree in history, I moved to Rhode Island and spent about a year selling cars (well, it was a history degree, right?).  I enjoyed Rhode Island.  Nice state.  Rather liberal.  Delightfully bizarre.  But, like the rest of New England, definitely a blue state.

The General Assembly of Rhode Island passed a law which allows domestic partners ((all quotes from the Providence Journal) defined as “”exclusive, intimate and committed relationship” with the deceased and had lived with him or her for at least a year prior to the death; is at least 18, not married to anyone else, not related by blood and who was financially “interdependent”) to bill that would have added “domestic partners” to the list of people authorized by law to make funeral arrangements for each other (okay, that quote is from the newspaper, but the link is to the state house bill).

That sounds reasonable.  If a couple live together, if their lives are entwined emotionally and financially, they should be allowed to plan funerals for each other.  Who could possibly be against that?

Well, the governor of Rhode Island, for one:

Republican Carcieri said: “This bill represents a disturbing trend over the past few years of the incremental erosion of the principles surrounding traditional marriage, which is not the preferred way to approach this issue.["]

Traditional marriage?  So if a 90-year-old man marries an 18-year-old twit with an annoying Cranston whine (even more grating than Fran Drescher’s) and croaks three days later, the twit can plan a funeral.  But two men (or two women, or a man and a woman) who live together for a year (or more!) in “exclusive, intimate and committed relationship” and were financially ”interdependent” cannot do the same for each other?  What lame-ass excuse could the governor possibly give?

[H]e believes a “one year time period is not a sufficient duration to establish a serious bond between two individuals…[relative to] sensitive personal traditions and issues regarding funeral arrangements, burial rights and disposal of human remains.”

So do you suppose he will be asking the state house to pass a bill limiting the funereal rights of those married less than one year?  I doubt it.

Carcieri said he was also uncertain “how it would be ascertained in many circumstances whether [a couple] had been in a relationship for year” since there is “no official or recognized form” of domestic partnership agreement in Rhode Island. He called this proviso “vague and ill-defined.”

You have got to be shitting me.  Conservatives (usually Republicans) stand foursquare against any recognition of human rights including (but not limited to): gay marriage, gay partnerships, gays, living gays, etc.  And now this Republican governor claims that since there is no official recognition he doesn’t know how the relationship would be  ascertained?  Bullshit. 

According to one of the representatives in the state house,

Describing himself as ”genuinely upset” by Carcieri’s actions, Rep. Segal said: “‘I think the man is heartless and this has become a bad joke that has carried on for far too long.” The joke? “His insistent, persistent need to assert himself by undermining the lives of gay people who love each other and want to be in committed relationships.”

Segal said Carcieri took his adamant opposition to same-sex marriage too far, since this “doesn’t change the definition of the word ‘marriage,’ as evidenced by the fact the “overwhelming majority of people in the General Assembly who oppose gay marriage saw fit to support the legislation. ”

I guess the governor is a subscriber to Santorum’s ‘man-on-dog’ slippery slope reducto ad absurdum argument.  If we allow them to plan funerals then they will want weddings and then they will want to be married and then they will want to marry their dogs and then they will tear down the entire foundation of western civilization (which is, of course, so weak that allowing civil rights to all humans will destroy it).  By stopping teh gay planning funerals for their partners, he is preventing the destruction of the western world.

Ladies and gentlemen of Rhode Island (and every other state, for that matter), no matter how progressive or moderate or non-batshit-crazy a GOP candidate appears, he or she will, nine out of ten times, revert to form, will begin spouting anti-gay, teabagger, Beckist, Limbaughite neoconservative radical right wing bullshit.  Oh, sure, during the election, they may talk a good game, but to remain in the GOP, a candidate, an office-holder, must hold fast to, at a minimum, 80%, of the Republican Party’s purity test.  If they don’t, they lose the money.

So the question remains:  why do blue states elect GOP governors?  And why are the citizens in the blue states surprised when they embrace the neoconservative fantasies?

Many conservatives (both political conservatives and religious conservatives) have a dream of transforming America from a secular democracy to a theocratic Christian democracy (picture Iran but with Robertson, Dobson, Haggard, etc. filling in for the Imams).  So how would America be different if that happened?

A few months ago, a crossing guard in a nearby town was arrested for having sex with a teenage boy (he did give him some new shoes in return) and filming it.  (From WNEP Channel 16):

Joseph Gyuriska will spend at least three months in jail for making pornographic videos with a teenager. The rest of his sentence will be spent on house arrest.

Gyuriska, 86, told the judge we was very sorry for what happened.

The judge said his 85 years with a non-existent criminal record would not lessen his punishment for what he did.

Gyuriska was sentenced to six to 23 months. The first three months he will serve in county jail. The rest will be spent on house arrest.

Gyuriska pleaded guilty to corruption of minors in August.

He admitted to police he videotaped the teen performing sexual acts with himself and another man in exchange for sneakers and clothes.

Gyuriska was a crossing guard for the Dunmore School District and is a World War II veteran.

He told the judge before he learned his punishment.

See, if this was a religious theocracy, he would not be going to prison for three months and then three to twenty months under house arrest.  He would have been transferred to another street corner (hat tip to (((Wife))) for that one).

(I am not minimizing or mocking the actual crime which was committed.  Nor am I mocking, in any way, the court system.  I am, however, mocking the way that a certain religious organization in the United States, Ireland, and other nations, has behaved.)

Not that it means anything, but today, I passed 100,000 visits to my blog.  I try not to obsess about my numbers, but I do pay attention to them — in 2008, I averaged 107 visits per day.  This year, I’m averaging 207 per day.  Not to shabby for part time blogger, eh?

Conservatives are the backbone of America.  Their respect for the Constitution of the United States, their respect for the laws of America, their respect for the President of the United States of America (whether they agree with his political views or not), their battles for equal rights for all humans, and their Christian ethics, including a sense of love and respect for all life are the epitome of exemplars of good old fashioned Americanism to which we should all aspire.  As long as we remember that ‘aspiration’ actually means butt sweat.

Out in Missouri, the Lafayette County Republicans are extremely disturbed that a Democratic candidate, and an African-American at that, defeated serial adulterer and all-around asshole John McCain.  Do they accept the electoral defeat in a democratic way?  Do they play the part of the loyal opposition?  Do they try (as Democrats did (to their regret) under W’s reign) to work with the new occupant of the White House in a constructive manner?

Well, this is from Missouri, so I guess I’ll just have to show you (from the website of the Lafayette County Republicans):

From the website:

“A Citizens Guide to Revolution of a corrupt government.
1. Starve the Beast. [keep your money]
2. Vote out incumbents.
3. If steps, 1 & 2 fail?

PREPARE FOR WAR–LIVE FREE OR DIE!”

The first sentence is grammatically scrambled.  I’m not sure what they mean.  Do they want a revolution in order to install a corrupt government?  Do they think that the Obama administration is corrupt and must be spun?  Do they assume that if anyone accepts the Obama administration as legitimate, we must not qualify as citizens?

Then the billboard exhorts Americans to, I guess, break the law by not paying their taxes.  Because the cure for a deficit is tax cuts (or just not paying your taxes).  Odd that when Clinton was in office, and he began to pay the public debt down, that he was a ‘free-spending, tax and spend liberal.”  Bush (the W one) gave a massive tax cut to the wealthy (the top 1% got almost a quarter of the tax cut (like they needed it)), pushed through a Medicare drug plan paid for by borrowing, and involved us in two wars (with no plans to actually, you know, pay for them) and doubled the national debt, made the federal government larger (without paying for it), and was the darling of the ’starve the beast-ers’.

It also exhorts them to ‘throw the bums out.’  Wow.  An actual democratic idea.  Well, it was probably a mistake.

And if their people lose the election?  Foment rebellion and start a civil war.  [update]  As The Spanish Inquisitor points out in the first comment below, that could be treason, right? [/update] 

Holy batshit, fatman!  These idiots are, um, idiots?

But that’s just the teabagging, Palin-worshipping, Beckasskiss, Limbaughite wing of the GOP (by wing, I mean majority (52% of Republicans do not think that Barrack Obama is legitimately President of the United States)).  I’m sure that the conservative Christians are much, much more civil.

After all, this evening I saw (on a beautiful vintage BMW Bavaria (and it is not funny that a car built during my life can be called vintage)) a bumper asking for a prayer for Obama.  Yes, the one that you and I have been reading about here, here and here (and all over the web):   “Pray for Obama: Psalm 109:8.”

Of course, Psalm 109:8 is one of those perfect examples of Christian love and respect for life:  an imprecatory prayer.  A prayer for someone to die.  Asking that loving Abrahamic God to hurry someones death.

Christian radical conservative asshats are, of course, allowed to say this.  They are allowed to put it on teddy bears (just what little  Becky Sue needs to help her sleep), t-shirts and bumper stickers.  It is (I’m not a lawyer, so if I have this wrong, let me know), as far as I can tell, protected speech.  [update]  The billboard, as SI points out, is fomenting armed rebellion against the legal government of the United States which would appear to him (and me) to be treason.[/update] 

Does anyone in the GOP, or the radical Christian right, realize that they have a pot of gasoline sitting on a lit burner, and are trying to figure out how to increase the gas flow?  They are creating a sense of fear so deep that in some areas, ammunition for long guns and handguns is becoming scarce.  They are terrifying their followers, intentionally, in order to create a culture in which violence is the only answer.   A medical doctor in Kansas,  law enforcement officers in Pittsburg and Florida, visitors to the Holocaust Museum, and, I am sure, others, have been killed by frightened conservatives scared out of the fucking minds by conspiracy-mongers. 

Conservative respect for the Constitution means that if you lose an election, the winner is illegitimate (anyone here ever read about the Civil War?).  Respect for the laws of America means that if you disagree with a law, you can ignore it (county clerks have been told that in Iowa.  Respect for the President of the United States of America applies only if the President is Republican — a Democrat is, by definition, a usurper.  They seek to deny equal rights for all humans based on a bronze-age definition of what being a Jew meant.  Christian ethics, the ‘culture of life’, means treating women as chattel, as breeding machines. 

The radical Christian right and the radical neoconservative political right have banded together and seek to force their narrow, bigoted, racist and misogynistic view of ‘morality’ on each and every one of us. They seek, literally, a Christian version of the theocratic ‘democracy’ of Iran.  And if they cannot achieve it by the ballot, they are quite happy with providing philosophical scriptural cover to those who would help them achieve it by assassination, coup, or outright civil war.  Conservatives, religious or political, are not the backbone of America.  They are trying to break the back of America.

And they claim that liberals like me don’t respect America.

I did have H1N1 Influenza, 2009 (Novel).  Which, in a weird way, makes me feel better.  I would hate to think that I was sick for the past month and did not have the Swine Flu. 

I did, however, find this.  Enjoy.

I am feeling better.  Not 100%, but better.

A few months ago, I posted (twice) about a school in Kentucky where the district had no problem with the football coach taking the kids, sans permission slips, to a Baptist revival, but required a signed note from mom and dad to watch President Barrack Obama tell the kids to work hard and stay in school.  Wait.  It gets worse (from The Political Carnival):

I have a friend who has a high school aged niece living in Williamson County, Texas. The niece’s 25-year-old brother is in the Army, stationed in Afghanistan.

I just heard from my friend, just a few minutes ago. It turns out that the niece was very distraught today… so distraught, in fact, that she had a panic attack and had to leave school. You see, the brother and sister lived in Fort Hood from 2004-2006.

The sister wanted to know why she needed her parents’ permission to stay in school for President Obama’s education speech, but not for the empty boots and Taps that aired without restriction during today’s speech honoring those slain by the Ft. Hood shooter.

Good question.

She is still pulling herself together as I write this, which, per my friend, requires a wash cloth and substantial make-up touch-ups.

Yes, in all its education-oriented wisdom, the school district banned the president’s speech about why it’s important to stay in school, work hard, and aim high. Kids at high schools throughout the district needed the okay from Mom and Dad for that…except those in U.S. government classes. I guess those kids were immune to indoctrination.

President saying stay in school, bad — permission slip needed. 

Memorial for slain soldiers (potentially triggering), just peachy– don’t even bother checking with the parents.

I am an unabashed liberal.  A progressive. I accept that federal, state, county and local governments can, and most often are, a social positive which can make the world a better place.   According to Bachmann, Beck, Limbaugh, et al., this means that I am not an American.  I don’t like paying taxes, but, when I look around at the benefits I receive, I am seriously under-taxed.

Part of that is that I see that actual connection between adequate funding and government services.  Some don’t.

Case in point:

An elderly gentleman that I know is furious that his property taxes increased.  Never mind that he has lived in his home for 55 years and, before last year, the last time his property was assessed was 1962.  He payed a total of $48 per year in total property taxes.  Now, of course, he is furious that he is paying about $1,000 per year.  That includes county, city and school property taxes.

He thinks he is overtaxed.  And he will tell you.  At the same time that he complains that there are not enough policemen in town, that his street doesn’t get paved often enough, that he should not have to pay an extra $100 per year to help cover the maintenance costs for the $100 billion protective levee, that it takes far too long to get his license renewed because of staffing shortages.

He is also furious that ‘that damned commie Obama’ is trying to take away his health care and force him into a government program.  He is desperately afraid that his wonderful VA health benefits and his Medicare may be taken over by the government who, of course, are incapable of doing anything right and, oh, by the way, it is fantastic that the township was able to build a new police department using a federal grant but all that pork-barrel spending is out of hand and his federal taxes last year were almost $400 which is a little bit more than his monthly VA pension and why are they soaking him while all the damn Mexicans who are buying up old houses and opening long-closed businesses in town don’t have to pay a dime and why won’t the government help put a new roof on his church which can’t get the money from the Diocese because of the dishonest kids suing the priests.

I try to avoid talking to him.  I know that I will get an earful of right-wing scare tactics, neo-Beckian absurdities, and Bachmann-esque GOP talking points.

I guess that paying my way, paying my fair share, working to make sure that government actually provides for the public welfare, just makes me un-American.  Strange that, to a conservative, loving America means that you have to hate the government of the United States of America.  The government created by the Constitution of the United States.

Some years back, I went on vacation (with the (((family))), of course) to Yellowstone (same destination described in a much earlier post, but a different year (and without the providential porta-potty))  On the first day, we drove to Janesville, Wisconsin and let the kids enjoy the fantastic city parks there.  Second day, we drove to Bismark, North Dakota.

As we passed through eastern North Dakota, the brilliant blue sky gave way to dark clouds.  And some really impressive thunder heads.  Coming over the high ground to the east of Bismark, we spotted some funnel clouds on the horizon.  We tuned in to the radio and listened to all the warnings.  And kept going into town.

We found our hotel and checked in just in time to hear the sirens go off.  We put the kids in the bathtub and decided that, if worse came to worse, (((Wife))) and I could just lay over the tub to protect them.  The heavy winds passed and we decided it was safe to look outside.  Oh, hail.

Literally.  Hail.  The size of my fist.  Luckily, the hailstones did not break out any windows in (((Wife)))’s minivan (the cyclops light shattered, though), though the roof took on the contours of a golf ball.  In the parking area, the hail piled up.  By the storm drains, the hailstones were a foot deep.

Then the sun came out.  So we piled back into the van and went looking for dinner.  The aftermath of the storm was amazing:  the underpasses in the center of town at the railroad tracks were filled to the bottom of the bridge; in places, the hailstones were three feet deep;  roofs torn off;  trees down.  We ate at a Taco Johns and talked with some of the locals.

Those we talked with had two basic themes:  ‘what did we do wrong to bring on this punsishment’ and ‘thank god no one was killed.’  No, ‘wow, what a cold front.’  No, ‘Wow, NWS did a great job tracking the storms.’  Just goddidit.  Either way, goddidit.

We later learned it was the most expensive storm in the history of the Dakotas.  There was an Airstream camper convention in town (thin aluminum doesn’t stand up too well to fist-sized hailstones).  A hot-rod group was having a meet (five coats of hand-rubbed lacquer doesn’t hold up to well, either).  (((Wife)))’s minivan had to have the roof replaced.

I remembered this delightful vacation episode when a friend’s ex-fiance’s girlfriend’s . . . .  Screw it, that’s too complicated.  A friend was involved in a car accident.  The crumple zones worked to perfection, absorbing huge amounts of energy.  The airbags deployed, keeping him from being impaled on the steering column.  He was trapped in the vehicle, and the volunteer fire company had to use the ’jaws-of-life’ to remove the roof so he could be removed. 

And the family’s reaction?  Goddidit.  Both ways.

Uncle X wondered what he did to invite such punishment (this is the uncle he will not let in his house, nor will he visit him).  Would this have happened if he and his live-in girlfriend were married?  No mention of the moron who wedged him into the Jersey barrier and caused the accident.  No mention that he was speeding in a work zone at the time of the accident.  God must be punishing him.

Aunt Y wondered at the mercy of god, protecting him in the accident, saving his life, preventing serious injury, saving his life.  No mention of the government safety requirements for the crumple zones and air bags.  No mention of the volunteer rescue workers who pulled his ass out of the diver’s seat.  No mention of the ambulance crew or ER crew who checked him over.  Goddidit.  God must be watching over him.

So does god create the storm, watch the ants scramble around on the anthill, and then save them?  Does god nudge a car into another lane, cause a three-car accident to punish one human and then step in to make sure the punishment is minor?

Doesn’t it make a lot more sense to invoke Okham’s Razor and refuse to multiply entities without necessity?  Maybe the storm up in North Dakota really was just a weather event.  Maybe the lack of a death toll had something to do with probability (chance) and some timely warnings by some government employees.  Maybe the car wreck was just chance influenced by personal choice.  And the safety had a whole lot to do with government regulations.

Yet many people so desperately want to believe that there is an overarching purpose to life (other than reproduction) that they will invoke a deity to explain both the good and the bad.  Big storm?  Goddidit.  No deaths?  Goddidit.  Car wreck?  Goddidit.  No death or major injury?  Goddidit.

I know that not all theists invoke a deity for minor, or even major, life events.  But for those who do, I have to wonder.  Specifically, I have to wonder if they recognize in their god the same level of morality as a kid with a magnifying glass, a sunny day, and an anthill.